Silly People

"Silly People" is the 37th episode of Desperate Housewives

Plot
Bree attends an elegant luncheon at fellow Fairview socialite Maxine Bennet's home. As Maxine serves the dishes, Bree cannot help but know that Maxine is getting help with the cooking since a recipe Bree used took 6 hours to cook. Bree tries to bring up during the meal that Maxine must have very good help, but her hostess denies it. Minutes later, the FBI arrives looking for Maxine and possess a warrant to search her house. The FBI look around and find a locked room which they break down. In the room they find a Chinese slave, Xiao-Mei, who is busy cooking. As Maxine is escorted out of the house in handcuffs they both scream at each other. The other women look on in shock but Bree knew "the proof was in the pudding".

Later, Susan and Edie question Bree on her sudden friendship with Betty Applewhite since everyone knows that Bree was the one pointing the most fingers. Bree defends herself but when Edie asks if it is because Danielle and Matthew are dating, because then it is another story. Edie then goes on to tell Bree that Matthew and Danielle were making out in the park and his hand was up her blouse, according to Mrs. McCluskey. Bree then goes inside and Susan scolds Edie saying "she could have sugarcoated it". As Bree talks to her daughter in the dining room, Danielle wonders why Bree is even talking to her after she betrayed her confidence. Bree tries to ask what Caleb did that made Betty hide him. Danielle does not exactly know, but suggests that she find out herself. Bree then advises Danielle "to take care of her looks" because she lacks everything else.

Remembering that she possessed a spare key from when the Mullins lived in Betty's home, Bree sneaks over shortly after Betty and Matthew leave. She finds Caleb upstairs and quickly introduces herself and states her business. She warms up to Caleb by bringing him some cobbler and manages to get some answers out of him. When he takes her down to his former room, Bree looks in horror on the harsh treatment Caleb had to endure. Caleb tells her that the reason he was locked down in the basement was because he hurt a girl, Melanie Foster, who then died. Caleb then classifies Melanie as "pretty just like [Bree]". Bree gives a nervous look as she moves away from Caleb.

Meanwhile, Tom is finding a difficult time adjusting to his new job at Parcher & Murphy when Ed continues to kill all of his pitches. When Tom brings up the fact that he was in a fraternity, Ed really likes the idea but starts a series of contests for Tom to try. The first of many is to catch candies in his mouth from a distance as Ed throws them. Tom successfully catches two but the third lands on his nose. Ed gets a large laugh out of Tom's failure and agrees to give him $200 anyway. The next dare is for Tom to eat a donut dipped in toilet water. Lynette feels that it is time for enough and that they should quit playing games. Ed sees this as a cry from Tom. This causes Lynette to ask Ed to give her a dare since it is new company policy. Soon after, Ed dares Lynette to eat a whole package of raw bacon and if she succeeds without vomiting the dares will stop. Lynette manages to make everyone including herself sick and Ed stops seeing as she "sucked the fun out of it".

Gabrielle arrives home to find Father Crowley talking to Carlos. Father Crowley then asks both Gabrielle and Carlos if they will house Xiao-Mei, Maxine's slave who is currently awaiting plans to return to China. Gabrielle at first objects seeing as they are letting a total stranger into their home. Her mood quickly changes when Xiao-Mei fixes a torn dress and cooks Gabrielle a lavish meal. During sex, Gabrielle then asks Carlos if they could hire Xiao-Mei full-time and help her apply for citizenship. Carlos does not really agree which causes Gabrielle to leave since Carlos does not see her viewpoint. The following day, Gabrielle tries to convince Xiao-Mei to stay by telling her about all the good things America has to offer. Xiao-Mei then sees a beautiful piece of jewelry that Gabrielle claims is worthless. Gabrielle places it on her wrist and tells her she can keep it. Xiao-Mei sees this as an act of kindness and hugs Gabrielle. When Xiao-Mei is about to leave, she refuses to get in the car and says that Gabrielle treated her with so much kindness that she considers the couple as her new family. Gabrielle hugs her and welcomes her into their home permanently—as their new maid.

Susan goes to Karl for help when she is in need of a health insurance plan seeing as she no longer has one. Edie tells her that the only way to get a health plan is to marry someone quickly. Karl does not like where the conversation is going but Susan likes the idea. The following day at a coffee shop, Edie introduces Susan to Gary, a gay, upperclass businessman who is also in need of a wife because he would like to make his aging mother happy—and to collect his inheritance faster. The two plan to marry on Wednesday since Gary will be out of town two days later. At the wedding chapel, Susan meets Gary's life partner Steven who totally objects to the idea seeing as he has proposed 6 times with no response but that Gary is willing to go to great lengths to marry a woman. This leads to an argument and Gary ends up leaving Susan at the altar. Karl then finds Susan on her porch eating her would-be wedding cake. Susan tells Karl that the wedding never happened and that she is still without health benefits. Karl then asks Susan if she would like to marry him. Susan asks what will happen with Edie. Karl plans not to tell her and to keep the marriage brief and quiet. Susan says yes.

As Noah Taylor opens his mail that Felicia has brought him he notices a suspicious looking note which he then opens. In the note he finds the phrase "YOU HAVE A GRANDCHILD" inscribed. Noah then quickly gets the phone to call Detective Sullivan. He asks Sullivan to visit Mike Delfino since there is apparently more information. Mike then sees Noah shortly after being ordered to do so by Sullivan. Noah demands that he bring Zach to see him in 2 days or Sullivan will do it for him.

Betty visits Bree shortly after hearing from Caleb that "a red haired woman" came to see him. Bree advises Betty to take a drink since they are both going to have a long, revealing chat about Caleb and Melanie Foster. Betty tells Bree the story over wine in Bree's dining room. Melanie Foster was Matthew's on-and-off girlfriend in Chicago. After one of their feuds, Caleb called Melanie and asked to meet her at the lumber yard. Melanie saw this as harmless and agreed to meet him. Caleb told Melanie that if he was her boyfriend he would never break up with her or fight. Melanie then laughed in his face. Caleb, in all sincerity, then kissed her, but this made Melanie uncomfortable and she proceeded to slap him. This angered Caleb who then picked up an axe and killed her instantly. This, Betty believes, is the reason why she felt it was her fault and not his for not protecting him "from himself" since she is his mother and could not see him going through imprisonment or even death. Bree then puts her hand out to Betty as a sign of truce.

Trivia

 * Although credited, Julie Mayer (Andrea Bowen), Andrew Van De Kamp (Shawn Pyfrom), Zach Young (Cody Kasch), Paul Young (Mark Moses) and Dr. Ron McCready (Jay Harrington, who only appears shortly in the "Previously" sequence in a cut scene) do not appear in this episode.
 * Due to time constraints, the opening credits were cut.
 * The scene from the "Previously" sequence, in which Susan is told that her spleen "has wandered close to [her] heart" and that she needs to get her "insurance figured out" by the time of the surgery, was never actually shown in any previous episode.
 * The episode title is that of the song "Silly People", which was written for, but cut from, Stephen Sondheim's musical A Little Night Music.
 * French Title: Les paris sont lancés (The bets are launched)
 * German Title: Verrückte Ideen (Crazy Ideas)
 * Italian Title: Amicizie Improbabili (Improbable Friendships)
 * Hungarian Title: Ostoba ötletek (Silly Ideas)
 * Polish Title: Nierozsądne pomysły (Silly Ideas)