You Must Meet My Wife

"You Must Meet My Wife" is the 136th episode of Desperate Housewives.

Summary
Susan is wracked with guilt about lying to Mike regarding her new, risqué side job, and Gabrielle is forced to rush to the hospital after her daughter Juanita becomes the victim in an accident that also involves a fellow resident of Wisteria Lane. In the meantime, Bree fires Keith without a warning when she suddenly finds herself falling for him, and after Renee starts spending way too much time with Tom, Lynette becomes concerned that she may be trying to sabotage her marriage. Paul Young finally introduces his lovely new wife to his neighbors on Wisteria Lane.

Previously on Desperate Housewives
"Paul Young came back. Lynette's friend had no where to go. A baby was switched long ago. And Carlos made a decision. Susan got a job offer. While Bree's contractor brought possibilities to light."

- Mary Alice Young


 * Paul Young returns to Wisteria Lane, much to the housewives' dismay.
 * Renee Perry moves in with Lynette after she splits up with her husband.
 * Carlos is told that Juanita is not his biological daughter and refuses to tell Gabrielle.
 * Susan is offered a job as an Internet 'model.'
 * Bree takes a fancy to her contractor, Keith Watson.

Teaser
It is a bright sunny day on Wisteria Lane. Outside 4354 Wisteria Lane, Keith Watson is kindly helping Juanita Solis fix her bicycle handlebar, as Bree spies on her crush through her bedroom window.

"It had been a long time since Bree Van de Kamp was a little girl..."

Once Juanita rides off, Bree closes the window curtains and makes her way over to her boudoir. She ties up her dressing gown before taking a seat.

"...but she could still remember everything she'd ever been told about sex: Her grandmother informed her it was a woman's burden..."

We see a flashback of a young Bree sitting in her grandmother's kitchen. Her grandmother walks over, while stirring cake mixture in a bowl, and begins to tell her about how sex is a woman's burden.

"...Her minister warned her it was a sin..."

A teenage Bree is sat on a bench in church and listens her minister preach about sex being a sin.

"...And her teacher taught her it was unhealthy..."

A slightly older Bree is then listening to her teacher discuss the topic of 'Venereal Disease.'

"...Yes, everyone had told Bree her sexual urges were dangerous..."

Back in the present day, Bree is fixing her hair up into a bun in front of the boudoir mirror. She inserts several pins and looks back at herself.

"...but no one had ever taught her how to get rid of them..."

A composed Bree leaves her home and spots Keith sawing some pieces of wood by the garage. Bree tells him that she's off to the bank but Keith quickly stops her - he wants to show her something. He takes her by the hand and pulls her over to his work station. He explains that he wants to panel the study using 200-year-old birch. He tells Bree to feel it, which she does quickly. "No," Keith says, "Feel it!" He takes her hand in his and rubs it up and down the wood panel. Keith cracks a joke, and Bree awkwardly laughs before dashing off to her car as she is running late. Bree hops inside her car and throws on her seat-belt.

"...Yes, when Bree was a little girl, she'd been taught her sexual urges were dangerous..."

Bree sits in her car and admires Keith's backside as she reverses off her drive. She hits something with a loud thump! followed by the ringing of a bicycle bell. She dashes out of the car to find an injured semi-conscious Juanita lying on the ground. Her face is badly cut and bruised. Bree holds the girl in her arms and tries to comfort her.

"...Unfortunately, she was about to learn those urges were dangerous for everyone."

- Mary Alice Young

Act I
"The doctors and nurses at Fairview hospital are experts at healing. They can set bones, bandage wounds, and treat diseases. Sadly, one thing they don't know how to heal, is a guilty conscience."

- Mary Alice Young

We are at Fairview Memorial Hospital. Bree, Lynette, Andrew and Karen McCluskey are in the waiting room. Bree is pacing back-and-forth and is troubled by the accident. Andrew is positive everything is fine as Juanita was talking when she was put in the ambulance. "Well, that's a relief," a voice calls out from the hallway - Paul Young emerges. He heard about the accident and rushed over as that is what good neighbors do. Karen explains that he doesn't have to wait around with them as nothing can be done. "We can pray," Paul says calmly, as he places his hands out in front of his neighbors. Bree, after short hesitation, takes his hand and Karen and the others do the same. During Paul's prayer, Bree and Lynette whisper to each other about how strange their nemesis is acting. The prayer ends and Paul leaves. Gabrielle appears and announces that Juanita is going to be fine, but she's being kept in the hospital for a few days for observation. She politely asks if she can speak to Bree and Andrew for a second - they're taken aside where Gaby suddenly flips. "First you take out my mother-in-law, then you go after my daughter," Gaby shouts, "Are you trying to kill of every Juanita Solis on the planet?" Bree apologizes and agrees that it was a terrible coincidence. Andrew butts in and thanks Gaby for not telling Carlos about the hit-and-run cover-up. "I'm gonna give you that one 'cause I wasn't fond of her," Gaby exclaims, "But as for the rest of my family? Learn to swerve!" Gaby leaves and Andrew tells Bree that he saw her checking out Keith's backside as she ran over Juanita. Bree tells him to watch his mouth and explains that she was messing around with the radio. "Alright. But while we're talking about the radio," Andrew continues, "You do know that model is like 15 years too young for you?" He walks away, leaving Bree thinking about what he said. Meanwhile, Susan is in the process of her first online web-cam video. She is hoovering her apartment carpet in a white sexy night-gown nervously. Clearly, Susan feels uncomfortable. She hides her breasts and buttocks from view just as the doorbell rings. Her boss, Maxine Rosen, is outside. Susan stops streaming the video and opens the door to greet her. Maxine reveals that she has been watching Susan 'perform' and is angry because the video was so boring. Maxine tells Susan to sit down and begins to give her a few pointers. Maxine takes hold of the vacuum cleaner and starts to suggestively thrust her hips against it, before finding a feather duster which she flirtatiously flutters around the room with. "Okay, okay," Susan interrupts, "I get it." Maxine ignores her and heads over to the dining room table which she begins to dust with her breasts. Maxine finishes and explains that they're job is to sell a fantasy to their customers and you have to loosen up to make it more believable. Susan admits that she is worried about all the men out in the world who will be watching her but Maxine quickly encourages her by explaining that those men are spending their hard-earned cash to see the perfect woman. "You, my darling," Maxine says slowly, "Have all the power here..." The landlady and internet entrepreneur removes Susan's robe for her and watches as she begins to hoover sexily. "That's it!" Maxine exclaims, "That's my girl!" At the Scavo's, Renee is arguing with her ex on her cellphone. Lynette tells her to stop because her daughter, Penny, is in the room. Renee ignores Lynette and after hanging up, she approaches Penny. She asks Lynette's daughter what 'Auntie Renee' has taught her - "Never sign a prenump," Penny replies, much to Lynette's dissatisfaction. Tom returns home from work. He isn't feeling well. "Again?" Lynette says, as she hugs him, "That's the third time this week. You need to go to the doctor." Tom suggests that he just lie down and watch some TV, and after some persuasion, agrees to go and see a doctor tomorrow. Renee begins to tell Lynette how she needs to be careful because her and Tom are starting to sound a lot like her and Doug's arguments before their separation. Lynette tells Renee her and Tom are fine. "If you say so," Renee chimes.

Outside, Bree is discussing Juanita's health to Bob, Lee and Karen. Bob and Lee start arguing and Karen adds, "It's been months. Can't you just kiss each other's bottoms and make up?" she turns to Bree and asks, "Isn't that what they do?" Just then, the group here's the sound of footsteps getting closer and they spot a young, blonde-haired woman carrying a suitcase and a fishbowl approaching them. The group agree to go and help her out just as the woman drops spills the contents of the fishbowl onto the street. She squirms on the floor, trying to rescue her flopping fish, which she quickly throws back into the bowl. The woman explains that she's lost and explains that she was looking for a street named Wisteria Lane. "Who is it you're here to see?" Bob asks. Beth replies, "Paul Young." Karen asks if the young lady is a friend of his and she stammers and struggles to answer. Paul calls out from behind them and he makes his way over. He puts his arms around the woman and says with a smile on his face, "Well, I see you've all met my wife."

Act II
Keith is sanding some wood in Bree's kitchen. She returns home from the supermarket to find her contractor without his shirt on. The startled housewife lets out a faint gasp before setting the shopping bag down on the counter. "Sorry," Kieth begins, "It got really hot in here and I thought you'd be gone for a while." He asks how Juanita is and Bree tells him that she is doing much better. She starts to place her shopping in her refrigerator but it distracted by Keith's muscle bound chest and abs. She drops several items and Keith asks if she is OK. "I'm fine, I'm fine," Bree stammers, "It's just been a very stressful day." Keith says he knows what his employer needs and he advances closer and wraps his arms around Bree. He comforts her and tells her everything will be alright. "I have to let you go," Bree exclaims, "You're too messy. Your tools are scattered everywhere and you're getting paint all over the place!" Keith is confused and asks Bree if she is firing him. She tells him that his cologne is too overpowering, to which Keith informs her that he doesn't wear cologne, to Bree's surprise. Keith says Bree can send him a check and he walks out. The next morning, Susan bids farewell to her family as they leave for school and work. Mike asks if Susan is going to work and she lies to her husband telling him that her class isn't until 11 so she's going to spend the morning making more jewelry to sell. Mike is impressed at how determined Susan is to bring in some extra cash. "You have no idea!" Susan nervously giggles. As soon as the apartment door closes, Susan pulls off her dressing gown to reveal a sexy gown underneath and she quickly starts streaming a video. She performs several sexual housework tasks. Suddenly, Mike returns and catches Susan 'performing.' Turns out Mike forgot something and he asks what his wife is wearing. She frantically covers up what she has been doing and Mike gets turned on by her night-gown. He pulls off his top and the two begin to make love. Susan discovers that her web-cam is still streaming the video. As the two kiss and undress, Susan manages to shut the laptop lid down, thus ending the stream, without Mike knowing. She sighs and the couple continue.

Renee is trying to find an apartment online, without much luck. Lynette starts clearing up and Renee suggests to her friend that she find a place in Fairview, as properties in New York are too expensive. The front door opens, Tom returns home from his doctor's appointment. Lynette asks how the appointment went and Tom replies, "Yeah, can we talk about that?" The two go in another room and Tom reveals that he has postpartum depression. "Tell me," Lynette jokes, "Did he check for a yeast infection while you were there too?" Tom hands her a leaflet and Lynette explains that she isn't buying it. "Show me one stretch mark or one sore nipple," Lynette says, "Then we'll talk." Tom suggests Lynette read the entire leaflet. At that moment, Paige starts to cry upstairs. "Gee, I wish I could. But I have to go and take care of our other baby," Lynette says sarcastically as she walks away. It turns out, Renee has been listening from the next room, and walks away without saying a word.

Act III
Paul and Beth Young are having dinner. There is an awkward silence. Paul begins to open his mouth to speak, but Beth quickly chimes in with, "I love the house!" Paul explains how he did the best he could but he believes it needs a woman's touch. Beth reveals that her mother was a control freak - if she even touched a chair she'd throw a fit - Beth is reluctant to help decorate because she doesn't have any experience. "Look at this," Paul says, "No plastic glass. I only dreamed of the day when I could reach out and touch you." He places his hand out and Beth taps it reluctantly. "I didn't either," she replies. Paul tells Beth that the letters she wrote him were the only things keeping him going and that he'll miss them. Beth thanks him for dinner and Paul suggestively reminds her that seeing as the pair weren't allowed any visits inside prison, this technically makes tonight their wedding night. Beth tells him that she is happy to cook and clean, but there are several other wifely duties she doesn't want to 'rush into.' Paul is clearly upset about the situation and Beth tells him that her mother thought he'd understand. "Of course," Paul replies, "There's more to a marriage than sex." The two toast briefly before taking a sip of their wine.

Gabrielle is walking through the hospital reception area - her attention is required by one of the nurses. The nurse tells her that they still have a couple of medical questions to ask about Juanita. The nurse asks how old Juanita was when Gaby and Carlos adopted her. Gaby chuckles but informs the nurse that Juanita is biologically her daughter. The nurse recalls that Gaby and Carlos are both an O blood type, but Juanita is type A - two 0s can't have an A. The nurse realizes what has happened and excuses herself. Gaby stops her from retreating and asks what she means. The nurse tells Gaby that Carlos obviously is not the father of Juanita. "Are you suggesting I cheated on him?" Gaby replies, "Listen nurse, there's no drama here. I've been faithful to my husband. I have nothing to hide." Gaby prances away and the nurse rolls her eyes and returns to work. Gaby returns and tears the sheet of paper containing the blood type information.

Renee is sitting at the dining table the next morning. Lynette marches down the stairs with a basket of laundry. Renee admits that she was up all night talking to Tom. Lynette is annoyed, but tries not to show it. Renee begins to tell Lynette that Tom feels that she doesn't listen to him - Lynette tells Renee to stop trouble-spotting her marriage. Renee apologizes.

Meanwhile, Gabrielle is walking up and down beside Juanita's bed at the hospital. Susan arrives with a big 'Get Well Soon' card her Art class made. "Yeah, yeah," Gabrielle whispers, "She loves it. Come on!" Gaby yanks Susan by the arm and pulls her out of the room and into a spare room. Susan is confused - Gaby asks if Susan remembers the weekend the two of them went away 8 years ago. Gabrielle reminds Susan of when they had dinner with a French guy on the trip and she asks what time she got back to the room after Susan left. Susan vaguely remembers but says that the sun was rising. Susan looks at Gabrielle confused. "I think Juanita might be French!" Gaby exclaims. Susan lets out a comedic gasp.

Act IV
"When Carlos returned from his business trip, he stopped at the hospital to visit his daughter, who had been sleeping peacefully. Then he came home to see his wife. Who had been plotting frantically."

- Mary Alice Young

Once Carlos comes home from his business trip, and after visiting his daughter at the hospital, Gabrielle decides to put a new plan of hers into action. When her husband lies down to sleep, she pretends she's still asleep, and rolls on top of him. There, she kisses him, and he becomes randy. He starts making out with her, and she then pushes him back, apparently unbeknownst to what was going on, as if she has just woken up. Carlos tells her she was making out with him, and Gaby says her sexomnia has come up again. She has a condition that's similar to sleepwalking, only it drives her to commit sexual acts to whomever she lies next to. Carlos takes it lightly and still wants to engage in sexual acts with her, but she claims she's too tired... and ashamed. Clearly, she's using her fake sexomnia to eventually justify sleeping with the French man.

Bree is tending to her garden. Karen McCluskey walks over and returns a rake she borrowed from Orson a few weeks ago. Bree thanks her. "So," Karen starts, "Where's that Chip-and-Dale dancer you hired to fix your house?" Bree explains that she had to let Keith go because 'it just wasn't working out.' Karen is disappointed, as she was finally starting to reach her target heart-rate every time she walked past Keith. Bree is curious that Karen still finds younger men attractive at her age and she eventually opens up to Karen about how distracting he is and she's afraid she'd make a fool out of herself. Karen asks how that is possible. "Well, let me run it by you," Bree says, "My marriage ended six days ago, Keith is 15 years too young for me, and my track record with lovers? - 2 dead, 1 in a wheelchair." Karen tells Bree to stop being afraid to take risks because they eventually turn into regrets and then it's too late. Bree continues fixing her flowers but she is clearly contemplating the situation.

Later that day, she comes home with groceries and her baby, and Porter tells her Tom and Renee went out for dinner at a restaurant, and they said Lynette was welcome to join them if she wanted to. Lynette says she wants to, and leaves her baby at the care of Porter, even though he claimed he had to go out that night. She meets them at the restaurant, and sees them having what looks like another hearfelt talk. Tom tells his wife he was just telling Renee he feels like sometimes she won't listen to him, and it's very frustrating. Lynette calls Renee to the side, and tells her she knows very well what she's doing, she needs a hobby so she's trying to butt in on her marriage so that she can make it all better later on, but she doesn't have the right to do so. Renee is offended by this, and tells Lynette that there is a man in the other room who is feeling depressed and his wife isn't willing to help him, and that's not her doing. Lynette gets a wake up call from all of this.

Act V
Mike comes home with flowers for his wife, because he called to ask for an extension in the truck payment and was surprised to hear she had already paid for it. He tells her she's wonderful, working as a teacher and on her jewelry, and still finding the time to make their house a home. Susan begins to feel a bit guilty regarding her risqué side job, which she's trying to keep from her husband at all costs. When Maxine comes over the next day and pays her, she tells Susan she's getting pretty good at the job, to which she responds that she's getting pretty good at lying to her husband too. She then looks at the flowers he gave her, filled with remorse.

Bree changes her mind and goes to see Keith at a local pub, and finds him playing pool by himself. She wants to hire him back, but he is reluctant to go back. He then tells her a story about a friend of his who bought a Maserati, despite being warned otherwise by Keith, and now the car is a real pain, always in the shop. He compares Bree to a Maserati. Bree says she's not a Maserati, she's a family Sedan with beije interiors, who's going through a divorce. She says Keith brought some light into her home, with his bright remodeling ideas and his spunk, and she needs him to help fix her home, so she can help herself fix her life. Keith is still not sure, and Bree realizes she has indeed made a fool of herself, and agrees that maybe she is a Maserati. She leaves, and after she gets into her car, she hits Keith with it, as he was coming after her to accept the job offer again. He jokes that she should consider jogging from place to place. He wants to come back to working with her, and Bree asks him if he's sure of it, because the boss is a bit on the nutty side, but he says he likes a challenge.

Back at home, Lynette comes into her room and asks her husband if he's alright. He thinks she'll just kid him around again, but she says she read the pamphlet and it actually makes sense. So she's presenting him with two options: they either stay up and talk about his problems, or they have fun in a sexual fashion. Tom is turned on by his wife, but he tells her he'd rather talk nonetheless, to which she agrees. Paul brings Beth a set of sensual lingerie he bought specifically for her, and she is apparently outraged, as she can't understand why he would think she'd wear something like that. Paul is even more upset, and he grabs the letters she sent him during the time he spent in jail. He forces her to read those letters, in which she went on about how much she wanted him to caress her and make love to her. He asks if she wrote those, and she tells him it was a fantasy, she never expected it to be real. Paul gets even angrier, asking her what she expected, to which she replies she didn't think he'd ever get out of jail. This takes him by surprise, and she realizes the mistake she's done. She says she didn't mean to say it, it just came out. Paul then tells her he realizes she has some issues, after all, she did marry a man in jail for murder. Clearly, she's a very troubled young woman. But he plans on helping her work out those issues, as he is a very patient man. However, he then says he won't be patient forever, and she should remember that. He kisses her on the head and walks away, leaving her very concerned.

Act VI
Lynette and Renee talk about recent events over morning coffee. Lynette says that when she doesn't feel like killing Renee, she does like having her around. Renee says that's good to know as she's just started renting out a house on the Lane. She points to Edie Britt's old property. Lynette says that that's a little close and the two woman start laughing. Tom walks outside and tells Lynette he can't get the baby to be quiet because he doesn't have the 'right equipment.' Lynette tells him that Renee is moving onto the Lane and she walks inside, leaving Tom and Renee alone. "You really think it's a good idea for you to move here?" Tom asks his new neighbor. "Of course," Renee replies, "It'll be a nice fresh start and plus I can stay close to my dear friend." Tom closes the front door tightly and begins to question Renee. She interrupts him saying that 'that was a million years ago.' "It doesn't matter," Tom explains, "She can never know what happened between us." At the hospital, nurse Madeline asks Carlos to sign the same form she had while questioning his wife, and he notices the front page has been ripped off. He asks what that was about, and Madeline says his wife has got a bit of a temper. Gaby looks at them from a distance, and sees Carlos asking the nurse what happened. She runs away, and her husband sees and follows her. She is stopped by paramedics wheeling a corpse away, and Carlos asks her what is going on. Gaby says she knows Juanita can't possibly be his daughter because she doesn't have his blood type, and even though she doesn't remember sleeping with the French guy, she must have. Carlos realizes the time has come to tell her the truth, and takes her to an empty room where he comes clean about Juanita's origins, as his wife breaks down in his arms.

"There are certain kinds of pain that can't be treated in a hospital. So those who are suffering do what they can to heal themselves: Some cure the ache of loneliness by making new friends..."

Bree dreamily watches Keith has she explains to her his plans for the paneling in the study.

"...Some soothe their excruciating guilt with an infusion of cash..."

Mike and Susan are sat around a table counting a large sum of bank notes. Mike and Susan smile at each other.

"...Some aleviate their buring desire with small acts of kindness..."

Paul delivers a perfect red rose to his new wife, who admires it and smiles up at her husband.

"...But sadly there will always be those who can't begin to heal because they realize there is more pain yet to come."

- Mary Alice Young

Gabrielle watches a sleeping Juanita and tears up because she knows she is not her biological daughter. She closes her eyes tight. The screen cuts to black.

Production
"You Must Meet My Wife" was written by Dave Flebotte and directed by Larry Shaw.

Reception
On its original broadcast on ABC, the episode scored 13.234 million of viewers and achieved a 4.4 rating in the adults 18-49 demographic, which is an improvement from the previous episode and the highest rating of the show since "You Gotta Get a Gimmick" aired on January 10, 2010. With the DVR Rating, this episode is up 1.7 in million of viewers (rising to a total of 14.9 million of viewers) and it's up 0.9 in the adults 18-49 demographic (rising to a total of a 5.3 rating).

Trivia

 * In its original broadcast, this episode was watched by 13.234 million viewers.
 * Darcy Rose Byrnes' credit moved from her previous spot between Joshua Logan Moore and Madison De La Garza, to under that of Mason Vale Cotton. It's the first time during a season that a regular's credit switches positions whilst still being listed in the same billing category (in this case, "also starring").
 * This is the first episode to credit Tuc Watkins (Bob Hunter) as a series regular. It also marks the first time in a season that all "starring" cast members aren't billed in every single episode. In this season, Tuc, Kevin Rahm (Lee McDermott) and Kathryn Joosten (Karen McCluskey) are only billed when they actually appear.
 * It was the last time when name "Edie" was mentioned in series. Name appear in small talk between Renee and Lynette about that Renee rented a house at 4362 Wisteria Lane.
 * Joshua Logan Moore (Parker Scavo) is absent from this episode, and is therefore not credited.
 * The title of this episode comes from a song of the same name in the Stephen Sondheim musical A Little Night Music.
 * This is the final episode of the series to use a mention of Edie Britt, she is never mentioned again after this episode.

Gallery
Gallery of photographic stills released to promote the episode.