"Everybody Ought to Have a Maid" is the 116th episode of Desperate Housewives.
Two weeks after being attacked, Julie returns home from the hospital and is greeted with a "Welcome Home" party by all the residents of Wisteria Lane. Nick tries to talk to Julie, but she tells him they are not doing that anymore and it's over. Danny saw Nick and Julie talking so when he tries to talk to Danny about it, he threatens to tell Angie if he ever saw the two of them together. Nick refuses to let him hold that over his head and tells Danny that the only thing that will hurt Angie is him knowing about the affair. While Julie is looking at the spot where she got attacked, Danny catches her by surprise and Julie tells him she knows he is not the one who attacked her. He asks her if the person she was seeing is the one who did it, but she thought about it and is sure he did not do it because he is not that kind of person. When Julie tells Danny she has not been able to sleep and is constantly worried the attacker will show up, he gives her their gun. That night, Susan is awakened by Julie claiming someone is outside and she is shocked that Julie has a gun. When the person walks past the window, Susan gets startled and the gun goes off. Susan looks out the window to see Katherine lying on the ground with a bullet wound on her shoulder. Hearing the gunshot, everyone runs over to Susan's and Katherine tells them Susan tried to kill her. When Nick tells Angie and Danny that Susan just shot Katherine, Danny tells them it was their gun. Since it is registered in their real name they cannot have the police investigating so Nick retrieves the gun and Angie convinces Katherine to not call the cops by telling her she believes Mike is in love with her also.
Karen tells Lynette that Roy is living on a fixed income and wants her and Tom to hire Roy as a handyman so he can have some extra money. Lynette wants Roy to build some flower boxes for the bedroom windows, Tom does not want them in their children's rooms as they will never water them, but Lynette doesn't care. Lynette is surprised when Roy goes over her head and asks Tom for his opinion. Later, Lynette asks him to hang a birdhouse but he tells her that Tom wanted it on the other side of the yard. Lynette comes back to see Roy talking to Tom on his cell phone and he tells her he wants to treat Tom with some respect since he is the man of the house. Lynette is offended that Roy think she emasculates Tom so she fires him. Tom goes over to talk with Roy and explains to him that Lynette's need of controlling everything is a result of her childhood. He tells Roy that he lets Lynette control him because it makes her feel safe and it's his job to make her feel safe as her husband.
At the party, Bree tells the other housewives that she fired Katherine and they all agree she needs help. Thinking Mike told Susan, Bree asks if she told them about Katherie hitting on Mike so Susan goes to ask Mike. Mike tells her it was nothing and he kept it from her because he knew it would upset her and Katherine means nothing to him. Later, at the Neighborhood Watch meeting Susan sees Katherine staring at Mike so she goes over to him and kisses him in front of her and everyone else. While asking for volunteers for one of the night shifts, Susan blatantly ignores Katherine. When Katherine confronts her, Susan tells her she is a liar and insane. Susan tells Katherine the only problem they have is her and if she doesn't stay away she'll be sorry.
While Bree and Karl are kissing, the motel maid walks in to clean the room. Bree goes back because she lost an ear ring and when the maid overhears Bree lying to Orson on the phone about where she is, the maid gives her a disapproving look. While having dinner with Orson, Bree tells him she encountered a waitress who was rude and superior at a cafe so Orson tells her to go back and demand some courtesy. The next day, Bree goes back to the motel to talk with the maid. Bree tells her she should not be making judgements about people and that if she knew about her marriage she would see her differently. While waiting for Karl to arrive, Bree has the maid change a light bulb and she tells Bree she also had an affair and when it was over she had no husband or boyfriend and is now cleaning motel rooms. When the maid asks if Bree feels guilty she confesses that she feels guilty all the time and wishes Orson would stop loving her because she is not worth it anymore. Despite her constant guilt, Bree continues her affair with Karl.
While on a play date Juanita and Rachel slide down the stairs in a suitcase, Laura arrives to pick up Rachel and Gaby tells her they were just playing and that she cannot watch them every second so she accuses Gaby of almost killing her daughter and being a lousy mother. Gaby is offended by the accusation and tells her Rachel was only invited because Juanita felt sorry for her. Laura tells Gaby she will not be bringing Rachel over anymore and will not be attending Juanita's birthday party because she feels her daughter is not safe in Gaby's care. Shortly after, Gaby starts getting calls from parents saying they have to back out of the party and she knows Laura is telling everyone their children are not safe in Gaby's care. Later, she goes to the park and tells the kids who are not going to Juanita's party that she is having a clown, a monkey, and a bouncy house so they all start begging to go. During the birthday party, the trainer tells Gaby the monkey needs to take a nap but Gaby refuses so while she and Susan are drinking margarita's all the kids run screaming and M.J. tells them the monkey is attacking the clown. That night, Carlos tells Gaby she is a great mother.
- The title of the episode comes from the "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" song, "Everybody Ought to Have a Maid."
- Although credited, Maiara Walsh (Ana Solis), Charlie Carver (Porter Scavo), Joshua Logan Moore (Parker Scavo) and Kendall Applegate (Penny Scavo) are absent from this episode.
- French: Hôtel Wisteria (Wisteria Hotel)
- German: Die ewigen Kritiker (The Eternal Critics)
- Italian: È facile giudicare (Is easy to judge)
- Hungarian: Ne ítélj, hogy ne ítéltess! (Don't Judge to Avoid Being Judged)