Wiksteria Lane

"Free" is the 87th episode of Desperate Housewives, as well as its fourth season finale.


Katherine finally comes clean to Dylan regarding her secrets, and Dylan runs away as a result of their conversation. After telling everyone she has to leave town, Katherine leaves Bree with absolutely no help to cater Bob and Lee's commitment ceremony, so she hires all of her girlfriends. Lynette and Tom have hit a rough patch after what happened with Kayla, and Susan has a hard time adjusting to the fact that her daughter will be going to college soon. Gabrielle finds 118 thousand dollars in Ellie's teddy bear, and Wayne takes Katherine hostage in her own house.



We see the back of Katherine's head as she stares at the circular symbol at the Fairview police station.

It had been fourteen years since Katherine Mayfair had been in a police station. But she remembered the conversation like it was yesterday.

Katherine turns around so that she faces us, she looks sad and thinks back.

417 Katherine
Katherine is told to run away from her abusive husband.

We are treated to Katherine's flashback and we see her sitting in the police station with bruises and various injuries around her face. A police woman offers her a cup of water and Katherine thanks her as she accepts it. The police woman sits next to her to discuss why she is there. "So, I take it this isn't the first time your husband's hit you?", she asks Katherine who shakes her head, avoiding the police woman's gaze. She says that he keeps promising it'll stop but it just gets worse. She says she's afraid he will do something to her daughter. Katherine begins to well up and turns to the police woman, begging that she has to help her. The police woman asks if Katherine's ever reported him, she says she did once before but the paperwork couldn't be found when she called. The police woman rifles through papers and realizes that Katherine's husband is Wayne Davis, one of their patrolmen. She turns to Katherine and asks her if she wants some advice, Katherine nods quickly and the police woman continues, "Your husband's got a lot of friends around here. Of course you could press charges but... I can't guarantee that one of his friends won't lose the paperwork again." Katherine asks what she should do and the police woman tells her, "get as much money as you can lay your hands on. Grab your daughter... And run." Katherine looks forward, realizing what she must do next.

And so she did...

We see Katherine and Dylan walk up the porch of 4356 Wisteria Lane to a welcoming Aunt Lillian. Katherine gets to the porch with her suitcases and looks out at Wisteria Lane, believing it to be safe, as Lillian beckons her inside.

To a place she thought would be safe.

Katherine goes inside the house and Lillian shuts the door behind them both.

The flashback ceases. We see Katherine standing in front of the Police Department symbol again and hear the words, "Mrs. Mayfair." Katherine is suddenly pulled to attention and turns to the detective behind her, he introduces himself as Detective Romslo and he asks her if he may help her.

417 Katherine 2
Katherine tells the police that Wayne kidnapped Adam.

Katherine is sitting in the police's office, sitting at the desk, and he paces around it, he asks her why she thinks that Dr. Mayfair was kidnapped as he sits down opposite her. He says that no one in the school parking lot heard or saw anything suspicious. She says, "That's because the man responsible for this, my ex, knows a little something about how to commit a crime.", this is due to him being a cop. The detective asks his name and Katherine says he is called Wayne Davis. The detective sighs and smiles, she asks him, "What?" and he says that it's just that he knows Wayne, they hung out together and he's a hell of a golfer. Katherine tells him to believe her when she says that he wasn't a hell of a husband. He asks her if this is about some payback for an ancient domestic dispute. Katherine begs and says "Please, you have to do something, because once Wayne is done with Adam, he's going to come after me. And this time he's gonna kill me. I know it." They stare at each other with tension and he breaks it by leaning forward and saying he'll look into it. He asks her to fill out some paperwork.

In that moment, Katherine knew exactly what she had to do...

Katherine picks up the paperwork and stares at it, a thought occurs to her and she slams it back down on the desk.

Dylan asks for the truth
Katherine is forced to tell Dylan the truth about her past.

Katherine is now in her house, rushing about, frantic, with clothing and packing her bags. Dylan is confused as asks her to stop as she's not making any sense. Katherine tells her that they don't have time, Wayne is coming, he took Adam and they're next. Dylan asks her why he would do that and, if they're in so much danger, why they're not calling the police. Katherine says that the police will not help and insists that Dylan go pack her bags so she can be gone before he gets there. Dylan yells for her to stop and pulls her aside from packing to talk face-to-face with her mother. She says she is not going anywhere until she gets some answers. "Why do I have to be afraid of my own father?" she asks.

Katherine Mayfair had been running from the truth for a long time...

Katherine calms herself down and says, "Okay, I'll tell you."

We hear Dylan cry "No!" after Katherine has told her everything and a close up of the stairs is visible. Soon Katherine is chasing Dylan down them, apologizing for her actions, saying she had no choice. Dylan pushes her over and runs out of the house, distraught, Katherine calls for her but not a stir in response.

And it had finally caught up with her.
Mary Alice Young

Katherine is sad and regretful on the stairs at the loss of Dyaln, she hangs her head shamefully.

Act I[]

We see a bird's-eye view of the four ladies playing their weekly game of poker, Lynette begins to deal the deck of cards to Gaby, Susan and Bree in the latter's house.

There is a ritual my friends have observed for years: once a week they meet to play a game of cards and talk about their lives...

We see Bree, perfect as ever, rifling through her cards. We then see Susan, with new baby Maynard next to her with a blanket on her shoulder as she raises a chip.

There's always laughter and wine...

We see Lynette smile at her hand of cards and look up at the rest of the ladies.

And talk about the neighbors.
Mary Alice Young
417 Katherine Bree
Katherine tells Bree she is moving away.

We see Gaby, loudly chewing her gum, as she throws in a chip. She tells Bree, who had obviously asked for it to be so, that she doesn't want Katherine to join in their game. Lynette says that she's with Gaby and that she always likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. Bree says that she doesn't, Lynette agrees but pretends that she did, she goes on to say that Katherine always seems like she's trying to keep them at arms-length. Susan agrees, saying that she's changed and isn't that fun anymore. Bree says that she doesn't know what they're talking about as Katherine has all sorts of wonderful qualities. Gaby asks her to name one, noting that "aloof" and "unfun" have already been taken. Bree admits that she plays her cards close to the vest but suggests that maybe they could benefit from that kind of quiet dignity before calling Gaby out on her loud gum-chewing. Gaby pops her gum loudly in her mouth in retaliation. Lynette says that Bree can talk Katherine up all she wants but she is never going to be one of them. The door opening and closing is audible and the girls here Katherine call, "Anybody home?!" They stare at each other and Katherine walks in. Bree greets her and notes that they were just talking about her, Susan weighs in with that it was random chit-chat, nothing specific. Katherine dismisses this quickly and asks Bree if she can talk to her for a minute, Bree stands up from her chair to talk to Katherine slightly aside from the girls. Bree asks what's going on and Katherine tells her that, despite it being last-minute, she is leaving town and won't be able to help cater Bob and Lee's commitment ceremony. Bree is shocked, saying that a hundred gay men will be descending and they will be expecting a fabulous party. Katherine apologizes and tells Bree that she would never bail on her if the situation didn't call for it. Bree, again, asks her what's going on but Katherine quickly tells her that she can't. She apologizes again and wishes Bree luck on the ceremony, she turns around and leaves, leaving Bree in the lurch. Bree turns to the girls who stare at her in an, 'I told you so' sort of way and Bree responds with, "Alright, you can all wipe those smug looks off your faces because every one of you has just become my employee." Gaby's gum pops loudly in her mouth again as they all stare at Bree.

417 Julie Susan
Julie tells Susan she's been accepted into Princeton University.

Julie is seen walking gleefully down the stairs in her house, clutching a piece of paper. She turns to Susan who has Maynard in the stroller and tells Julie some preparations that she will need help on for Bree's catering job. Julie merely stares at Susan with a smile plastered across her face, "What?", Susan asks, Julie tells her to guess who got off the wait list at Princeton, Susan is shocked and tells her daughter that she is so proud of her before the two embrace in a hug. Susan says that she has to get a bumper sticker right away so that she can start annoying all the other parents. Julie says she can start when she gets there on Tuesday, to which Susan replies, "Tuesday, what are you talking about?" Julie explains that the professor who read her senior thesis was so impressed that he asked her to come out and do a summer internship and that she leaves next week. "Next week?", Susan says, "That is a big... no.", she says more bluntly. Julie says she has to as it's a huge honor, Susan agrees but says that the honor is to be chosen, which she was, so she congratulates Julie and tells her she's staying home. Mike gets up from the chair and wonders why Susan isn't letting her go as it's a huge honor. Susan turns to him and says that they've established that before walking over to his side to face Julie who asks for one good reason as to why she can't go. Off the top of her head, Susan says that they can't afford it. Mike asks Susan if he can talk to her for a second, he pulls her aside and tells her that he just inherited five grand from Grandpa Maynard and that he'd really like to use it to help out Julie. Susan says that is so sweet before turning to Julie and telling her that Mike makes another good point - they don't know this professor and she certainly isn't leaving her daughter alone with him for the summer. Mike is confused with her lies and Susan apologizes to Julie and says that it is not happening. Julie says that it totally sucks and walks back up the stairs, Susan calls to her, "Well yes, but don't forget, it is a huge honor!" She turns to Mike who doesn't speak and just walks away.

417 Tom Lynette
Tom is angry about Kayla's departure.

Lynette opens the door and enters her house and immediately begins talking. She makes her way over to Tom, who is packing a box on the coffee table, and says, "You know what we haven't done in a really long time? Make two hundred and fifty mini-pizzas in one afternoon." He asks her what she's talking about and Lynette explains that Bree's in a horrible jam and she said that they'd help out in catering the commitment ceremony tomorrow. Tom says he can't because he's busy as he's taking the boxes containing Kayla's things to her as she lives four and a half hours away now. She asks, at risk of cracking the egg-shells she's been walking on all week, if he thinks he'll stop being so angry any time soon. He says that he isn't angry at her and she professes that they had no choice, they had to get her out of the house. Tom yells, "I know! I am angry at the situation, will you please just let me be angry?!" She concedes and says that he can be as angry, and sulky, and pissy as he wants so long as he is there tomorrow helping her crank out the two hundred and fifty mini-pizzas. She begins to make her way to the stairs as Tom says that he's been told that when some wives ask their husbands to do them favors, they actually say please, before fleeing up the stairs, Lynette turns to him and says, "Oh Tom, don't you know an urban myth when you hear one?"

417 Ellie
Ellie asks to get a teddy bear from Gabrielle, which she left at her house.

Gaby walks into her house with a large box of things and says to Carlos, "Okay, here's the deal: Bree needs all these wedding favors wrapped by tomorrow and she's really counting on me. So, I'm gonna need you to hurry." She dumps the box on the table in front of Carlos who tells her that he just got off the phone with the credit card company and asks her if she has something that she wants to tell him. She says it would be easier if she knew what he knew. He tells her that she's maxed out every credit card that they own and that she has had enough shopping. He says that they are so broke it will be a miracle should they not end up on the street. She tells him that when he yells at her she gets upset which, in turn, causes her to shop and so notes that if they end up homeless it'll be his fault. He says, "Whatever, I'm gonna go read porn... in braille." He gets up and leaves as Gaby hears the phone ring. She rifles over her box to get to the source of the noise and picks up the phone. She answers with a "Hello" and then Ellie answers from the other line. Gaby says that she can't call her as the cops are all over her ass as they think she helped her escape. Ellie apologizes, saying that she just needs one more favor and then she'll never bother her again. Gaby asks her what it is and Ellie tells her that she left her teddy bear in the coat closet and she needs it to be brought to her. Gaby is confused as to why she needs a teddy bear and asks her if it's code for "a pound of blow", Ellie assures her that it's an actual teddy bear that was a gift from her father and is all she has to remember him by. Gaby says, "Crap, you had to play the daddy card."

417 Gabrielle
Gabrielle examines the teddy Ellie wanted and finds something inside it.

We see the teddy bear lying in the closet as Gaby opens the door, shining light on it. Her hands are visible moving objects out of the way, she then grabs the teddy bear's leg and drags it out of the closet. Gaby steps down and walks away from the closet, holding the teddy bear. She moves it around in her hands and feels something inside it, she finds the back seam and tears it open, shocked by the contents.

Act II[]

417 Bob Lee
Bob and Lee argue about which ice sculpture they should have at their wedding.

We see Tom carrying a box from the back room of Scavo's Pizzeria and taking it behind the counter as the shot focuses upon Lynette and Bree making plans across the table from Bob and Lee. Bree runs through food plans of the ceremony and finishes with mentioning she will collapse in an exhausted heap. Lee points out that she didn't mention the ice sculpture and Bree tells him that there is to be one cherub ice sculpture delivered at 1:30. Lee seems confused and tells them that he specifically told Katherine that they were going to go with the enchanted castle and Bob weighs in with, "And I told her that we were going with the cherub as we are not eight year-old girls." Lynette stares at Bree who too finds the situation awkward as Lee goes on to say that all of his life, he has dreamed of having a wedding where he would serve drinks from a vodka mote surrounding a castle rendered from ice which he does not think is too much to ask. Bree looks behind them and she sees Orson enter the pizzeria as Bob insults Lee by saying that he is acting like Faye Dunaway in the boardroom scene from "Mommie Dearest". Lee is maddened as Bree says that she should let them work it out and gets up to walk over to Orson. Lee sits there saying that they'll go with the "stupid baby angel" and says he needs some coffee. He walks in a strop over to the counter as the shot switches so we can see Bree talking to Orson. She asks him what he's doing there and she knows it isn't for pizza due to him being lactose intolerant. He replies by saying that he's there to offer his assistance after Katherine left her in the lurch. Bree believes this to be him trying to act the hero and save her while she is lonely and vulnerable and she tells him she's fine. He asks her not to be stubborn and offers his penmanship for writing place cards. She snaps, "Don't you dare throw your calligraphy skills in my face when you know I'm at a low point." She makes it clear she does not need his help and walks away. She passes Lee on her way who is sitting opposite the counter to Tom.

417 Tom Lee
Tom warns Lee not to be a pushover in his marriage.

Tom is writing something when he briefly turns to Lee and says, "You're doomed." This catches Lee's attention and he turns to Tom, wondering what he meant. Tom tells him that the way he caved on the sculpture thing is setting the tone for his entire marriage. "I am?", Lee asks and Tom says that he'll be pushed around for (he thinks of his own marriage and comes out with:) ten and a half years. Lee is shocked and turns to Bob, he walks over to him and smacks him on the shoulder to gain his attention, he tells him clearly that he wants his castle and he is entitled to it as it's the only thing he has asked for. Bob caves and Lee thanks him, Lee then turns to Tom who gives him a congratulatory nod before Lee walks away proudly. Bree says that she will accommodate the castle ice sculpture and Bob tells them that they're sticking with the cherub, and later, when Lee bitches about it, he'll just buy him some jewelry, Lynette asks, "Are you sure you haven't been married before?"

417 Carlos Gaby
Gabrielle tells Carlos about the money she found in Ellie's teddy bear.

Carlos and Roxy are seen walking down the stairs together, he calls for Gaby who says, "Over here Carlos!". He walks over to her and says he has a theory about all of the bad things that have been happening to them, such as his blindness and the low money - karma. He believes that the universe is trying to tell them to be better people after being so greedy and selfish. Gaby is counting money on the table and responds with, "I just found $118 ,000 in Ellie's teddy bear." after having counted the total, Carlos looks up saying, "Hey universe! Bite me!"

417 Wayne Adam
Wayne holds Adam hostage.

Detective Romslo puts the phone up to his ear, having just dialed, and greets Wayne who is on the other line. We see Wayne pacing up and down a unidentified building clutching his cell phone to his ear, he greets the detective who says he wants to give him a heads up that his ex came into the station and tried to file a report that he had kidnapped her new husband. He jokes the situation off, laughing and saying he could ask for a ransom. The detective notes that Wayne always said she was crazy and now he knows for sure, he wishes him well and hangs up. Wayne hangs up the phone and throws it away dismissively. Anger floods through him and he kicks an unconscious, swollen, blood-covered Adam who is lying on the floor. He says they've done kidding around and crouches over Adam, demanding that he tell him where his daughter is, Adam, eyes closed, does not respond. Wayne picks him up by the back of the head and stares at his face, Adam is unresponsive and Wayne tells him not to die on him. He sighs and drops Adam to the floor before standing up. He kicks Adam again and yells in anger, afterwards, he walks away. Wayne is now gone and we see a close-up of Adam's bloody face, slowly, his eyes open, revealing to us that he's alive.

Act III[]

417 Bree
Bree discovers that she'll have to pick up the ice sculpture herself.

We see the preparations for the ceremony on the lane are all going swimmingly and we hear Bree is making plans with some employees. We see some poorly made napkin swans on a table and Bree walks over to them and begins talking to Lynette, who made them all. Bree says she would like to be more tactful but can't and bluntly fires Lynette from napkin duty as her swans are pathetic. Lynette pleads for her not to and insists that she will get the hang of it. Bree gets a phone call and turns around to answer it on her cell, she recognizes the caller and asks them the whereabouts of the ice sculpture. She says that 6 o'clock is too late and she'll have to pick it up herself. She turns back to Lynette who presents a poorly made napkin swans in her hand, wanting a positive response, Bree says in a patronizing tone, "Why don't you fill water glasses? That's an important job too." Lynette is slightly saddened and Bree walks away.

417 Bree 2
Bree tries to fix her broken down car.

We see Bree's car driving down the road and we then see the interior with the cherub ice sculpture in the back and Bree in the driving seat, talking on her cell phone. She is talking to Andrew and she tells him that she is on her way back but her conversation is cut off as she loses signal. She begs her phone not to dye on her now before quickly checking on the ice sculpture and then turning her attention back to her dead phone. We hear a loud noise and Bree is shocked as she swerves in her car. She slows down and stops, relieved. We are shown that the cause was a flat tire and Bree emerges from the trunk of her car with some tools to fix it, she stares at the damage and slams her tools to the ground, realizing she can't fix it. She wipes her forehead with her hand, leaving a black smudge, and she goes back to check on the ice sculpture. She sees that a water droplet is slipping down it and realizes that it's melting. She panics for what to do.

417 Bree 3
Bree carries the ice sculpture using a stroller.

Bree is now walking along the sidewalk, pushing along Benjamin's stroller with the ice sculpture sitting in it. She looks determined and warned out as she forces it along and a large truck drives by. Bree starts flailing her arms around, wanting attention from the driver but it drives past her, covering her in dust as it goes. She begins pushing the stroller again.

417 Gabrielle 2
Gabrielle lies to Ellie about the teddy bear.

Gaby and Carlos are preparing food for the ceremony with the teddy bear thrown lazily onto the table. Carlos tells Gaby that they should put the money in their life savings and she tells him that nobody does that anymore. He argues that they may have kids and she says that they never will as shoes are her kids and she asks him to be the mother she was meant to be. The phone rings and Gaby answers it to Ellie again, the latter asks the whereabouts of her bear, Gaby engages in awkward silence and comes out with a lie, saying that she looked all over but just couldn't find it and the cops must have taken it, she apologizes and tells her that it just breaks her heart. Ellie knows she's found the money and Gaby says, "Money, what money?" Ellie knows she is lying as she can hear it in her voice and Gaby asks what's wrong with her voice in a high-pitched tone. Ellie calls Gaby a bitch and says she does not want to screw with her. Gaby pauses and asks if they can split it fifty-fifty, Carlos hangs his head and Ellie goes on to say, "I'm coming to get my money. And if one dime is missing I will throw acid in your face!" before hanging up. Gaby is disgusted and tells Carlos that they really need to get caller ID.

417 Bree 4
Bree is relieved to be picked up by Orson.

We again see the ice sculpture in the stroller being pushed along by Bree, who by now is looking a lot ore hot and exhausted. She stops, tired, and runs her hand through her done-up hair, coming across and flower that she yanks out in annoyance, causing a lot of her hair to fall down. She groans and looks up saying, "What more can you do to me?!" She looks down again and the wings of the ice cherub melt and fall off to the ground. A car drives up to her and pulls up next to her, she turns to it and sees that Orson is driving, he opens the door to the passenger seat, welcoming her by saying, "Need a lift?" She looks at him with admiration and relief.

417 Katherine Susan
Katherine tells Susan about the fight she had with Dylan.

Susan answers the door to her house to see that Katherine is standing at the other side. Susan greets her and Katherine quickly says, "Hi." before asking her if Dylan is there. Susan says that she hasn't seen her, Katherine thanks Susan and begins to walk away but is halted by Susan asking her if she is alright, Katherine turns back to her and tells susan that she and Dyaln had a big fight, Susan assures her that she will cool off and come home. Katherine shakes her head and tells Susan, "Not this time... I lied to her." Susan says that everyone lied to their kids but Katherine comes back with that she's been lying to Dylan for her entire life, one lie after another that formed layers that eventually came crashing down on her. Katherine tells Susan to tell her if she sees Dyaln and runs away, leaving Susan in a state of silent remorse and confusion.

417 Katherine 3
Katherine is held hostage by Wayne.

Katherine runs into her own home and quickly picks up the phone, she then hears, "What's your hurry, Kathy?" Her head rises slowly and she turns around, she sees Wayne and we see his hand move over to the door and lock it before cracking a smile. Katherine smiles and stares at him, she then quickly runs into her kitchen and over to her drawer, Wayne chases her as her hand is rifling through the drawer for her gun, Wayne slams the drawer onto Katherine's hand causing her to yelp in pain and fall backwards, clutching her wrist. Wayne grabs the gun and aims it at Katherine asking, "What happened to my daughter?" She stares at him, breathing heavily, and says, "I'm not telling you anything... So you might as well kill me... I don't care." He says he believes her but asks about Dylan, or, "That girl that lives here with you." He says that he'd bet she'd care if he were to kill her.

Act IV[]

417 Orson Bree
Orson tells Bree he wants to earn her forgiveness.

Orson and Bree take the ice sculpture out of the car, having arrived at the ceremony. Lynette stares at it and says that there are no wings, Bree turns to her angrily and asks her what her point is. She lies and says it's stunning as to not upset Bree any further and carts it off, leaving Orson and Bree alone. Bree sits on the trunk of the car and Orson joins her, Bree says that she supposes she should thank Orson but he says that she needn't do it, noting that it was just lucky that he was there. Bree asks if it was luck or whether it was because he was following her, he smiles and expresses that he thought she may have needed his help, she says he was right, she did, before saying, "You just think Im being stubborn, don't you? Making you jump through hoops when it's so clear we belong together." He says he doesn't think anything and is merely trying to be there for here, hoping he will eventually earn her forgiveness. She tells him that that's just it, "If I forgive, you then I'm forgiving what you did to Mike. I can't do that. And you wouldn't want me to, I mean, be honest with yourself, if I were to take you back now, I wouldn't be the woman you love." He asks her what he can do, she tells him, again, to turn himself into the police and let justice run its course. He says he cannot do that, though he wants to, for her, but he just doesn't believe he would survive it. He stands up, still facing her, Bree says, "Well, so here we are." before standing up and walking away, leaving Orson devastated. He slams the trunk of the car shut.

417 Lee Lynette
Lee dislikes his ice sculpture.

Lynette is busy setting up the ice sculpture as Lee walks by and asks, "What is this?" She tells him it's his ice sculpture and he says it isn't, and makes clear that it is not a castle but merely a big "icy slap in the face" He turns from side to side and sees Bob, he then calls him angrily and walks over to him in a strop.

417 Susan Julie
Susan tells Julie she'll miss her when she leaves for university.

Julie is sitting on the couch reading as a hand is seen passing her a new cell phone wrapped in a ribbon, the hand belongs to Susan and Julie asks, "What's that?" Susan slowly sits next to her saying that she wants to be able to reach her in the summer whilst she's doing that internship. Julie smiles and asks if she changes her mind, Susan goes on to say that her and Julie have always had an unconventional relationship and the reason that worked is because they always tell each other the truth. Until the previous day. Susan admits that she lied about not having enough money to send her, Julie asks her why. Susan says that she freaked out about her leaving, Julie wonders why as she knew she was leaving for college anyway. Susan argues that that was going to happen in the fall and she needed those extra three months to prepare herself because she still has not figured out how she will get by without her daughter. She admits that she leans on Julie in ways that she just doesn't even know. Julie shakes her head, "I think you're stronger than you give yourself credit for," she says, Susan tells her that she is a mess, "Well you were," Julie continues, "When dad left. I had my hands full then but you've grown so much these past five years." Susan asks for reassurance and Julie tells her that, "You are a secure, confident woman now. You're ready to spread your wings and fly. Frankly, my work here is done." Susan thanks her daughter and strokes her hair, she tells her that she wants her to have that phone on her at all times because she's still not sure how to work the dishwasher. They both giggle and Susan and Julie share a hug.

417 Lee Bob
Lee tells Bob he can't go through with the wedding.

Lee runs out of his house angrily with Bob calling after him. The latter says that it's just an ice sculpture, The two begin to publicly argue as Lee turns around and exclaims that it is not just an ice sculpture. Lynette and Tom stare at the argument as Lee goes on with saying that it is the ice sculpture, making him move to the suburbs, and forcing him to be nice to his homophobic boss. Lee points to Tom and says that he was right, if he doesn't start standing up for himself then he's doomed. Lynette turns to Tom and he says, "I don't believe I used the word 'doomed'." Lee says that Bob is always overruling him and treating him like a child but he's had it. Lee tells him the wedding's off and storms off himself, Bob yells at him and also storms off. Tom starts to explain the situation to Lynette but she cuts him off, not caring, she says that they have to fix it unless he wants to tell Bree that he torpedoed her ceremony. Tom turns to Bree who is yelling at an employee who screwed up and threatens to hurt him. Tom says that he'll get Bob and Lynette says that she'll get Lee; the two depart.

417 Lynette Tom Bob Lee
Lynette and Tom convince Bob and Lee to go through with the wedding.

Bob is sitting angrily on the couch and with Tom standing over him as Lynette enters, dragging Lee along who is saying that she cannot make him talk to him, Lynette begs to differ and throws him down on the couch, next to Bob. Lynette says that earlier, her husband, in an attempt to help them in their relation ship, gave them some 'advice' which he would now like to take back. Tom says that actually, he stands by everything he said before but his mistake was not going far enough, Lynette asks, "What?" and Tom carries on: "If you're willing to break up over an ice sculpture, you guys should absolutely not get married." Lynette asks him where the hell he's going with this, Tom continues, "Because who gets to chose the ice sculpture, who has to take out the trash, who has to stay home and make the mini-pizzas: that's the little stuff. What are you going to do when the big stuff comes along?" Lynette asks for a second alone but Tom ignores it, "What are you going to do when a tornado hits your house? Or you have problem with your kids? Or one of you gets cancer?" Lynette turns to him, realizing that he is also talking about their relationship, Tom continues still, "At some point, the crap is going to hit the fan and that is why now, before you make the commitment, you have to ask yourself 'is that person in bed next to you... worth the trouble?'" He turns to Lynette and they stare at each other, he soon returns to his rant, "Do you love him or her so much that no disease, no disaster, could possibly pull you apart?" Lynette and Tom stare at each other again and realize just how strong their relationship really is. Lynette soon realizes the situation and yells, "Answer him!" to Bob and Lee, they both say that they do and Lynette tells them to go out there and get committed "you crazy kids" Bob and Lee smile at each other, get up, and leave for the ceremony. Lynette and Tom exchange looks, kiss, and leave as well.

417 Adam
Adam hijacks a car to get to his family.

We see a bird's-eye view of the unidentified building from before where Wayne had held Adam captive. Adam quickly emerges from the door, still bloodied up and injured, and a car comes towards him. Adam walks over to it as it stops and the driver, shocked, asks if he is okay. "Do you need some help?" the driver asks, "Yes." Adam responds, he then opens the door of the car, pulls out the driver, gets into the car saying, "Thanks for stopping." and drives away, leaving the driver on the floor with no car.

Act V[]

We see a police car parked outside of Gaby's house through her window and hear her on the phone, telling the officer on the other line that she sees him and reminds him that Ellie is dangerous and so he should feel free to use excessive force should she turn up. Gaby hangs up the phone. We see Carlos upstairs in the bedroom, feeling his way around, as Gaby calls him, asking if he is almost ready. He feels his way around some more and grabs his blazer which is lying on the bed. Gaby asks if he heard her and as he stands up, we see that Ellie is standing behind him, he does not appear to notice her and calls back to Gaby that he is just getting his jacket. He feels his way out of the room as Ellie tries to go unnoticed. Carlos walks down the stairs in his jacket and Gaby asks him to carry the house keys as they don't fit in her purse, he quickly alerts her that Ellie is upstairs and he heard her breathing in their bedroom. He tells her to call the cops, Gaby is shocked and is worried about the money, she tries to go to the stairs but is restrained by Carlos, who tells her it's too dangerous. "Not as dangerous as poverty!" she responds before running up the stairs and to the bedroom. Gaby walks cautiously yet quickly into her bedroom, she stares at the open door and looks behind it, no one is there, so she continues to look around. She runs around to the other side of her bed and kneels down to retrieve a bag full of Ellie's money, she gets back up and is annoyed to see that Ellie is standing over on the opposite side of the bed. They both stare at each other angrily and Ellie jumps across the bed, grabbing a strap of the bag, she is refusing to let go and Gaby tries to pry it out of her hands, she eventually pulls it away and runs out of the room, Ellie chases her and the two run down the stairs, Gaby still clutching the bag of money. Ellie grabs the bag again and her a Gaby do a tug-of-war with it. Carlos steps up the stairs and asks Gaby what's going on, not being able to see, and Gaby and Ellie tumble down the stairs, knocking Carlos over, still wrestling for the bag of money. The bag gets out of their hands and the two scrap on the floor, each trying to get to it with the other one stopping them. Gaby manages to army-crawl her way to the money but Ellie stands up and grabs her by the legs, dragging her backwards as she clutches the money. Gaby screams for Carlos to go get help as Ellie shakes her, wanting the money. Carlos feels for a door, opens one and yells, "Help! Police!" and Gaby angrily tells him, "That's the closet!" as her and Ellie are kneeling on the floor, wrestling still for the bag which each has a grip on. Roxy runs over to them and bites Ellie's arm, causing her to fall backwards in pain, Gaby grabs the bag in her arms, gets up, runs over to the door, opens it and alerts the police that Ellie is in the house. She hides the bag of money behind her bag as the police run to the house. Ellie gets up, grabbing her bitten arm, and runs to the back of the house to another exit just as the police barge in. She escapes.

We see the ceremony happening on the street and we see Ellie making her way through it. She walks through the guests and takes an appetizer before walking off in another direction into the rest of the ceremony.

Katherine is sitting against the counter of the kitchen of her house as Wayne paces, still holding her at gunpoint. Katherine tells him that she doesn't think he's thought this through. He tells her to shut up and she says that if she tells him what happened or doesn't, he will kill her either way. She asks who he's going to pin it on. He doesn't respond, taking on board her words, and sits down opposite her on a chair. She goes on saying that they have history and says, "Right now I'm just your bitter, crazy ex. If I turn up dead and you have no alibi..." she begins to smile and he tells her to let him worry about that. They hear the door open and are both confused, Wayne stands up and sees Ellie enter the house, he stands up and she sees him, quickly grabbing a large knife from Katherine's kitchen things, pointing it at him. He raises his non-gun hand, his other hand and the gun being covered by the counter s that Ellie cannot see it. She says that she's having a little problem and needs to hide there for a sec, Wayne pulls back the hammer of the gun, and she says she doesn't want to hurt him whilst advancing with the knife. He sits down and Katherine sees her lowering the knife. Ellie says she's glad they understand each other and looks out of the windows, Wayne quietly picks up a pillow and covers his gun with it, he then fires hitting Ellie in the chest. She is shocked and looks at her wound, Katherine gasps, Ellie falls to the floor, dead. Katherine is shocked and Wayne says, "Huh, and with your gun too. I guess I just found my alibi."

We see the people watch as Bob and Lee exchange the rings and the shot focuses on Bree, who is separate from the ceremony, setting up dessert, as Karen comes up to her. Karen compliments the ceremony saying that Bree and Katherine really did a bang-up job. Bree argues that she did a bang-up job whereas Katherine bailed on her and left town. Karen says that she just saw her an hour ago, Bree, shocked and angry, makes her way to Katherine's house as Karen sneaks some dessert.

We see Katherine's wrists have been tied up with white rope by Wayne as he explains his alibi. She sits on the chair watching him kneeling over Ellie's body as he says that he will say that Ellie broke in, stabbed Katherine and Katherine shot her. "Case closed." he says to her as Katherine sits on the chair, scared. He says that the alibi fairy left him a present. Katherine stares at the gun which is lying on the counter and says, "But, I do wonder: what if Dylan doesn't come back?" Wayne retrieves money from Ellie and looks up at Katherine, "We had a fight," she continues, "She said she hated me, said she was leaving... for good." Wayne stands up and asks her if that's the best she can do as he counts money on the counter. She says she knows it sounds convenient but asks him what will happen if it's true because he doesn't have another plan. He looks at her as Katherine notes that she was the only way he could make her tell him the truth and smiles. He angrily grabs the gun and advances on Katherine who shields her face with her tied-up hands. Wayne is about to strike when a knock is heard at the door, he turns to the noise and they hear Bree through the door who angrily tells Katherine that they need to talk immediately. Katherine turns to the door as well and realizes that Bree can be used as another threat, as does Wayne, who smiles. Bree knocks again.

We see Karen talking to the police in front of 4356 Wisteria Lane as Bree knocks on its door. Karen tells the police that she thought she saw Ellie heading "down that way" pointing in the oppisite direction of the house. The door opens and Bree is pulled violently into the house by Wayne and the door is quickly closed again as Karen says, "I hope you find her, I'd hate to think there was some maniac running around our neighborhood."

Act VI[]

Katherine and Bree are sitting on the windowsill in Dylan's old room as Wayne paces with his gun in front of them; Katherine's hands are still tied up, but Bree's aren't. They are both terrified. Katherine whispers to Bree that she is very sorry about what's happening and Wayne tells them to shut it. He catches Bree up by saying that he needs to know something that only Katherine can tell him, but she refuses to because she needs some encouraging which is where Bree comes in. "Wayne! Please don't.", Katherine begs. Wayne asks Katherine how she will feel knowing she could have stopped this, he takes the gun and aims it at Bree's kneecap. Bree gasps in fear as he pulls back the hammer, ready to fire. "Alright!", Katherine yells, "I'll tell you." He takes the gun away from Bree, stepping back and waiting for Katherine to explain.

After I left you, a few months past and I convinced myself that you'd forgotten about us. But I was wrong...

Katherine flashes back to Mary Alice emerging from Katherine's front door, smiling, having just babysat Dylan. Katherine and Lillian are walking home from a night out and Katherine asks Mary Alice how Dylan behaved, Mary Alice says she was an angel and walks down the porch to talk to Katherine face-to-face. She says she hopes she didn't do anything wrong and Katherine asks her what she means, Mary Alice says that Katherine's ex-husband stopped by and she knew this when Dylan called him "daddy". Katherine becomes worried and Mary Alice apologizes saying that she should have called but Dylan was just so happy and Wayne brought her a bicycle and a doll that Dylan will not let out of her sight. Katherine and Lillian run into the house, worried, and Mary Alice asks what's wrong, she goes ignored.

I was going to run again, but you didn't give me enough time...

Katherine is packing in Dylan's room as Dylan sleeps with her new doll next to her. Lillian enters saying that Wayne just drove up, she asks if she should call the police but Katherine tells her not to and to let him in. Lillian is confused but walks out the door to obey Katherine's command.

I was going to face you. Going to let you know that you were not welcome in my home. And neither were your gifts...

Katherine picks up Dylan's doll and walks over to the wardrobe and places the doll on top of it. She looks at her daughter and walks out of the room as the shot focuses to the doll on the wardrobe.

Downstairs, Wayne and Katherine are arguing and Wayne asks if she knows how much money he spent looking for her. She says that she's sure he still had enough to buy liquor by the case-load. "Look who's gotten sassy since she's been away... I think I like it." he tells her. She asks him what he wants and he yells that he wants his daughter back. She asks if he's getting lazy in his old age and needs someone smaller to pound on, he argues that he never touched a hair on her head. "yeah, but now she's gotten older and sassier I'm sure you'll find all sorts of reasons to hit her." Katherine exclaims. He says that he doesn't need to ask her permission, he could just go upstairs and take her. Katherine yells that she is asleep and tells him to get the hell out, he says he's her father and advances on Katherine, "I said NO!" she yells, pushing him back to the couch, he is angry and so quickly walks towards her, she picks up the candle stick from the mantel behind her and strikes him, very hard, around the head with it. he falls to the floor, holding his head in pain as he checks is head, he says he's bleeding and Katherine, still holding the candle stick, says, "Viciously, you should see a doctor." He stands up, still in pain, and walks over to the door, he opens it and turns to her with blood pouring from his forehead, "I'll be back for my daughter." he tells her and she makes it clear that there is nothing she won't do to keep him away from her, nothing. He leaves and she rushes over to the door, slamming it shut. Lillian walks up to her asking if she's alright as she heard a crash, Katherine says she's fine and that she hit him with a candlestick causing him to go down pretty hard. Katherine puts the candlestick down as Lillian walks her to the couch saying that now would be a good time to break out the ten-year old scotch she's been saving. Katherine sits on the couch, relieved.

I honestly thought it was finally over. I don't know how I could've been so wrong.

We see Katherine asleep on the couch with the scotch on the table next to her, Lillian's screams are heard and Katherine wakes up, "Katherine!" Lillian yells, Katherine runs upstairs to Dylan's room to see Lillian crouched down next to the fallen wardrobe with a single little girl's arm sticking out from underneath it with the doll lying next to it. Dylan had clearly tried to retrieve the doll when the wardrobe fell on her. Lillian says that she came in to give her another blanket and her hand is ice cold. Katherine screams in terror, realizing the situation, and runs over to lift the wardrobe.

Aunt Lilly told me that I couldn't go to the police. She said you'd make it seem like I killed Dylan... to keep you from taking her. So I let her bury my baby in the woods...

Lillian shovels dirt from the grave that the buried Dylan's body in in the woods as Katherine stands by with her shovel in a state of shock and terror, not contributing but just looking frightened.

I knew I'd have to run away again but I also knew that you would never stop looking for me. So I came up with a plan...

Katherine follows a nun down a corridor as we hear the sounds of children crying, she walks into a room full of children.

I found a girl in a Romanian orphanage that looked just like Dylan. The resemblence was uncanny. Her mother had died in childbirth and the father had been murdered...

Katherine is led by the nun to a girl sitting on a bed, the new Dylan, the girl looks up at Katherine excited and Katherine looks back at her.

As I looked into those big blue eyes I knew right then: she needed me as much as I needed her...

Katherine smiles at the young girl and the young girl, Dylan, smiles at Katherine.

The flashback ceases and we see Katherine pulling back the rug of Dylan's room to reveal a crack underneath that had been caused by the falling wardrobe.

I've never told that to anyone. I lied to Adam and said it was all your fault. And that's how I've been living for twelve years. Telling one lie after another.
Katherine Mayfair

Bree feels remorse for Katherine as she looks at her from the window sill.

We see Adam in the car that he stole as he drives up Wisteria Lane, he is stopped by someone who tells him that they are having a party and he cannot park there and must park somewhere else.

We see Wayne again who is talking to Katherine, "So you let her die." he says, Katherine closes her eyes, stopping more tears from falling, and nods.

Adam is told by the man that he needs to park around the corner, Adam reverses and is thanked by the man, however, Adam drives forwards and crashes through the ceremony, causing guests to run away and tables and decorations to fly and get run over. Adam continues to speed down the lane.

Wayne is talking again, "You let my daughter die like a dog," he says, Bree tells him it was an accident but he ignores her, "and then you buried her like one." he says. He stands up and Katherine says it was because she had to. She says, "I knew if you found out you-" he raises the gun and aims it for her, pulling the hammer back with an evil glint in his eye, "That I would kill you?" he says, nodding, she looks up at him, crying and scared. Adam's car pulls up on Katherine's front lawn and breaks, Wayne hears the screech of brakes and his attention is turned to outside, he and Bree look out the window and we see Adam, still wounded and bloody, emerge limping from the car and into the house. Wayne hears the door open and stares at Katherine who stares back, Adam yells, "Katherine, where are you?! from downstairs and Wayne runs out of the room to take care of him, Katherine yells to Adam, to warn him, "Adam! Get out! He's got a gun!" Bree is shocked but goes over to Katherine and unties the white ropes from around her hands. They hear a struggle and then someone fall down the stairs, they don't know who and their attention is alerted. They hear the sound of footsteps coming towards the room and stare at the door, Bree and Katherine are relieved to see that it's Adam who's holding Wayne's gun, having overpowered him.

Katherine and Bree help Adam down the stairs i his weakened state and they see an injured Wayne lying on the ground, staring at them, breathing heavily. Adam tells Katherine to watch him for a second and hands her the gun so that he can go and call the cops, Bree says that she will help him stop the bleeding first and walks Adam into the kitchen. Katherine has the gun firmly pointed at Wayne who is on the ground, he tells her to go ahead and call the cops, ask for his buddy, Pete Romslo, they play softball together, He sits up slightly and gives Katherine an evil stare, he says that those guys will take care of him and even if he does a little time, she knows that this isn't over. "I'll get out and I'll find you," he says, "and I'll make you pay." Katherine tearfully stares at him with the gun in her hand and says, "I know you will."

Bree is wrapping a tea-towel around Adam's wrist in the kitchen to fix a wound when the two of them hear a gunshot from the living room, they're shocked and run into the scene. They see Katherine, still aiming the gun at Wayne who is dying on the floor with a bloody gunshot on his heart. He is dead and Katherine drops the gun next to him. She stares at Wayne's body as Adam comes up to her and hugs her. As they watch the body, a shocked Bree walks out the front door where the neighbors are all crowding round the car that destroyed the ceremony, Susan and Lynette run up to Bree asking if she's alright and what is going on. Bree says, "We don't have much time before the police get here, we need to talk." Bree tells them the story.

Gaby runs through the crowd and asks Susan what's going on, Susan tells her to listen to her. Katherine is sitting on her couch as the police look around her house with her hands behind her back in cuffs. An officer tells her that she has to talk to them so they can know what happened Katherine remains silent. The shot moves to Bree is talking to a policeman on Katherine's porch, she says, "...then he raised the gun and came toward us. Thank God Katherine grabbed his arm and got the gun away. That lunatic would have killed us all." The shot moves to Susan talking to a policeman, she says, "I knew Wayne was the reason she moved away and the second she moved back he started stalking her again." The shot moves to Gabrielle talking to a policeman, she says, "She was always telling us how terrified she was..." The shot moves to Lynette talking to a policeman, she says, "We always he'd do something like this eventually. And he did." Detective Romslo takes in Lynette's words and walks up into Katherine's house. He tells her that this was obviously self-defense and tells the policeman to get the cuffs off and get her to the hospital. Katherine turns to stare at Romslo as her handcuffs are removed. She is escorted to a car by the police and takes time to look at the girls, thankfully, she smiles and the four of them smile back at her. Dylan runs out from under the police tape and call for her mother, she runs up and hugs her, she apologizes and the two reconcile as the shot fixes on Susan, Bree, Lynette and Gaby.


Five Years Later

We again see a bird's-eye view of the girls poker game which now incorporates Katherine. Lynette deals cards to Katherine, Bree, Susan and Gaby in the latter's house.

There is a ritual my friends have observed for years...

The shot shows Katherine, smiling and talking.

Once a week they meet to play a game of cards and talk about their lives...

We see Bree in very sophisticated dress as she takes another card.

Of course, there is another aspect to these gatherings that has nothing to do with gossip or poker...

We see Lynette, her hair now fully grown back as she finishes dealing the cards and talks to the ladies.

Every seven days, my friends are reminded of a basic human truth...

We see Susan who smiles and accepts a card.

There is nothing more important than friendships that endure...

We see Gaby, holding a hand of cards, looking a lot less glamorous than usual with no make-up or expensive clothes.

Especially in a world that insists on changing.
Mary Alice Young

Gaby is upstairs and says that her friends are gone as she walks to her bedroom, picking up clutter along the way, she says she's ready to fix dinner. She is shocked and mad to see that her daughter, Juanita, has her face covered in make-up, Juanita says that they're playing fashion model. Gaby says that she is lucky she got in there before her dresses were touched. Juanita is shocked and yells, "Run, Celia, run!" as Gaby's other daughter, Celia, runs out of the room in one of Gaby's designer dresses. "My Vera Wang!" Gaby yells before running after her daughter.

Bree gets inside her house and says she's home, Andrew emerges with papers and a phone and says that the publishers went over the galleries for the cookbook and she needs to proof them tonight and he has the woman from the New York Times on the phone who wants to do the interview tonight. Orson calls her from upstairs saying that the water's getting cold, Bree tells Andrew to put everything on hold so that she can enjoy a bubble bath with her husband and yells up the stairs, "Coming Orson!"

Lynette arrives home and asks Tom why there's a police car outside, a policeman tells her that they just picked up her son who picked up a car at the mall and took it on a joyride. "Again?" Lynette asks, "I am so sorry officer, we have talked to Porter until we're blue in the face, it's like he's determined to go back to juvenile hall." Tom tells her that this time, it wasn't Porter, they arrested Preston.

Katherine is in her bedroom and plays a message from her phone, Dylan's voice is heard, "Hey mom, I'm back from Paris. It was just as gorgeous as you said it would be and you're not gonna believe this: Bradley finally asked me to marry him right there under the Eiffel Tower. I'm so happy, call me back." the message ceases and Katherine smiles.

Susan arrives home and shuts the door behind her, she walks into the house and says, "Honey, I'm home!" She walks over to a man and asks if he missed her, he says she knows he did. She then begins to kiss the man, the man who is not her husband.


  • The Solises' oldest child was named Juanita, after Carlos' deceased mother.
  • With this episode, all the main housewives of the show have had children:
    • Susan had Julie and Maynard;
    • Lynette had Preston, Porter, Parker and Penny, and stepdaughter Kayla;
    • Bree had Andrew and Danielle, and grandson Benjamin, who posed as her son;
    • Edie had Travers; Mary Alice had adopted son Zach;
    • Katherine had her biological daughter and her adopted daughter, both named Dylan;
    • Betty had Caleb and Matthew;
    • and Gabrielle, after a miscarriage, a surrogacy that didn't take, and an adoption that went wrong, now has two daughters, Juanita and Celia.
    • Even Mrs. McCluskey had a son that died at the age of twelve.
  • Brenda Strong (Mary Alice Young) is seen in this episode in a flashback.
  • Some events of this episode are very similar to the events of the season 1 finale, "One Wonderful Day": a hostage situation occurs, at the Simm's house no less, and then someone comes over and knocks on the door. Only then Edie leaves at the end, whereas in this episode Bree is taken into the house.
  • In episode 2.13, "There's Something About A War", the famous fighting scene between Gabrielle and Sister Mary (the nun) occurs, with an interesting music featured in the background, which was made especially for that scene. In this episode, Gabrielle is shown in yet another fight scene, with the same music featured, only this time it was with Ellie over the bag of money.
  • The final minutes of the episode take place five years into the future, where season five picks up. This is the first time jump on Desperate Housewives to occur in the season finale. Previous time jumps occurred in the premiere episodes of season three (six months) and season four (one month).
  • This is the final episode of the series to credit Lyndsy Fonseca (Dylan Mayfair), Joy Lauren (Danielle Van de Kamp), Brent Kinsman (Preston Scavo), Shane Kinsman (Porter Scavo), Zane Huett (Parker Scavo) and Rachel Fox (Kayla Scavo) as regular cast members.
  • Although credited, Nicollette Sheridan (Edie Britt), Joy Lauren (Danielle Van de Kamp), Brent Kinsman (Preston Scavo), Shane Kinsman (Porter Scavo), Zane Huett (Parker Scavo) and Rachel Fox (Kayla Scavo) are absent from this episode.
  • There's an alternate ending for this episode, which was filmed as the original ending, showing the housewives leaving Gabrielle's house and learning of heir futures as they leaved the house. ABC head office wasn't happy with this, so they had to re-film the scenes with each housewife inside their house after the season had wrapped, and just days before the episode aired.


Carlos: I'm gonna go read porn... in Braille.

Mary Alice: (first poker voiceover) There's a ritual my friends have observed for years. Once a week, they meet to play a game of cards and talk about their lives. There's always laughter and wine and talk about the neighbors. (second poker voiceover five years later) There's a ritual my friends have observed for years. Once a week, they meet to play a game of cards and talk about their lives. Of course, there's another aspect to these gatherings that has nothing to do with gossip or poker. Every seven days, my friends are reminded of a basic human truth. There is nothing more important than friendships that endure, especially in a world that insists on changing.

Mary Alice: (voiceover) It had been 14 years since Katherine Mayfair had been in a police station but she remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. (scene of Katherine reporting the abuse of her policeman husband and being advised to run) And so she did to a place she thought would be safe. (scene of her returning to Wisteria Lane to live with her mother) Katherine Mayfair had been running from the truth for a long time and it had finally caught up with her.

Bree: Lynette, I wish I had time to be more tactful but I don't. Your swan is pathetic and I'm firing you from napkin duty.

Gabrielle: Come on, we're never gonna have kids. Shoes are my kids. Let me be the mother I was meant to be.

Bree: (to Orson) Don't you dare throw your calligraphy skills in my face when you know I'm at a low point.

Bree: Muddling through isn't going to cut it. The gays run the social scene in this town. If we screw this up, we'll be lucky to get a job catering Friday Fish Fry at the Elks Lodge.

Bob: (to Lee) Remember how you said I should tell you when you start acting like Faye Dunaway in the boardroom scene from "Mommie Dearest"?

Tom: If you're willing to break up over an ice sculpture, you guys should absolutely not get married. Because who gets to choose the ice sculpture, who should take out the trash, who has to stay home and make the mini pizzas, that's the little stuff. What are you going to do when the big stuff comes along? What are you gonna do when a tornado hits your house, or you have problems with your kids, or one of you gets cancer? At some point, the crap is going to hit the fan. And that is why now, before you make the commitment, you have to ask yourself: Is that person in bed next to you worth the trouble? Do you love him...or her so much that no disease, no disaster could possibly pull you apart?

Carlos: I got a theory as to why all this bad stuff has happened to us-my blindness and losing all our money-it's karma. We've been selfish and greedy and the Universe is telling us to be better people.
Gabrielle: I just found $118,000 in Ellie's teddy bear.
Carlos: Hey, Universe! Bite me!

Susan: I still have not figured out how I'm gonna get by without you.
Julie: Mom...
Susan: Seriously, I just lean on you in ways you don't even know.
Julie: I think you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Susan: Well, I spend more time with me than you do, and I'm a mess.
Julie: Well, you were when dad left. I had my hands full then, but you've grown so much these last five years.
Susan: Really?
Julie: You're a secure, confident woman now. You're ready to spread your wings and fly. Frankly, my work here is done.

Tom: You're doomed.
Lee: Excuse me?
Tom: The way you just caved on that sculpture thing-you're setting the one for your entire marriage.
Lee: I am?
Tom: Yeah, you gotta dig in your heels. Otherwise, you're going to be pushed around for -- let's see, how long have I been married? 10 and a half years.

Bob: We're sticking with the cherub and later, when he bitches about it, I'll just buy him some jewelry.
Lynette: You sure you haven't been married before?