aka Joe

Bureaucrat Admin
  • I live in Wikerly Hills
  • I was born on July 11
  • My occupation is Student
  • I am Under Your Spell
#Start spreading the news,
I'm leaving today,
I wanna be a part of it!
New York, New York!

#These vagabond shoes,
You're an ass, you know that?!... No, keep playing.
#Are longing to stray,
There's a word you know, right?
#And get around the heart of it,
New York, New York!

#I wanna...
Just tell you that the affair was one thing, I mean, I forgave you because on some small level I thought that you were in love with her and now I find out that you were just groping people at parties!
#Top of the heap!
Karl, don't you turn away from me! Look at me! You know, what else were you doing during our marriage? How many other women were you sticking it to?! With God as my witness, it will snow on the hills of hell before I ever feel sorry for you again!
#New York!#
Susan Mayer

Hi, I'm one of the admins of the Desperate Housewives Wiki.

About Me

When I first saw Desperate Housewives advertised in my country, I thought it would be terrible, so I decided not to watch it and I realise, now, that that was a huge mistake. Because, the show used to be on just before another show I liked so I would catch the last ten minutes or so, and one day, when viewing the end of "The Little Things You Do Together", I realised just how awesome the show was so i went back and watched the entire episode. Since then, I have completely fallen in love with the dramedy that swept the world and I am very happy to have found a group that enjoys the antics of Susan, Lynette, Bree and Gaby as much as I do and I hope that I may contribute all that I can to this wiki.

My Edits

Type of edits Edit count
Total 2,180
Article 1,381
Talk 263
User 183
User Talk 1
Wiksteria Lane 2
Wiksteria Lane Talk 0
Image 17
Image Talk 0
Template 2
Template Talk 0
Category 2
Category Talk 1
User Blog 6
User Blog Comment 87
Blog 0
Blog Talk 0

My recapped pages



In Progress

  • TBA


  • TBA



In Progress


My favourite pages

My Favourite Episodes...

In General:

  1. "Bang"
  2. "Finishing the Hat"
  3. "Pilot"
  4. "One Wonderful Day"
  5. "Something's Coming"
  6. "Guilty"
  7. "And Lots of Security..."
  8. "The Little Things You Do Together"
  9. "Free"
  10. "Boom Crunch"

Of the Season Premieres:

  1. "Pilot"
  2. "Remember Paul?"
  3. "Secrets That I Never Want to Know"
  4. "Now You Know"
  5. "Listen to the Rain on the Roof"
  6. "Nice is Different Than Good"
  7. "You're Gonna Love Tomorrow"
  8. "Next"

Of the Season Finales:

  1. "Finishing the Hat"
  2. "One Wonderful Day"
  3. "Free"
  4. "Come on Over for Dinner"
  5. "If It's Only in Your Head"
  6. "I Guess This is Goodbye"
  7. "Getting Married Today"
  8. "Remember, Part 2"

Of the Disaster Episodes:

  1. "Bang"
  2. "Something's Coming"
  3. "Boom Crunch"
  4. "Down the Block There's a Riot"
  5. "City on Fire"

Of the Segmented Episodes:

  1. "Lovely"
  2. "The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened"
  3. "Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know"
  4. "Epiphany"
  5. "Women and Death"
  6. "Mirror, Mirror"
  7. "If..."

Of Season 1:

  1. "Pilot"
  2. "One Wonderful Day"
  3. "Guilty"
  4. "Pretty Little Picture"
  5. "Running to Stand Still"

Of Season 2:

  1. "Remember, Part 2"
  2. "Next"
  3. "Remember, Part 1"
  4. "That's Good, That's Bad"
  5. "I Wish I Could Forget You"

Of Season 3:

  1. "Bang"
  2. "The Little Things You Do Together"
  3. "Listen to the Rain on the Roof"
  4. "Getting Married Today"
  5. "Come Play Wiz Me"

Of Season 4:

  1. "Something's Coming"
  2. "Free"
  3. "Now You Know"
  4. "The Gun Song"
  5. "Mother Said"

Of Season 5:

  1. "If It's Only in Your Head"
  2. "The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened"
  3. "Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know"
  4. "City on Fire"
  5. "You're Gonna Love Tomorrow"

Of Season 6:

  1. "Boom Crunch"
  2. "Lovely"
  3. "I Guess This is Goodbye"
  4. "Nice is Different Than Good"
  5. "Epiphany"

Of Season 7:

  1. "And Lots of Security"
  2. "Remember Paul?"
  3. "Come on Over for Dinner"
  4. "Down the Block There's a Riot"
  5. "Searching"

Of Season 8:

  1. "Finishing the Hat"
  2. "Secrets That I Never Want to Know"
  3. "Give Me the Blame"
  4. "Putting it Together"
  5. "Is This What You Call Love?"

My Favourite Characters

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My Favourite Houses


My Favourite Seasons

  1. Season 1
  2. Season 8
  3. Season 7
  4. Season 4
  5. Season 3
  6. Season 6
  7. Season 5
  8. Season 2

My Favourite Wiki

My :O Scenes


(Dave is tying Susan up at the intersection where his wife and child were killed by her, she is very emotional. He has her son and begins to explain his plan...)

Susan: Try not to scare MJ when you bring him here.
Dave: Actually, change of plans.
Susan: What?
Dave: MJ's staying with me. He and I are going to pull into that intersection. Just as Mike comes barrelling down that road.
Susan: Oh my God.
Dave: And you're gonna stay there, and watch, as Mike kills your child... just like you killed mine. I told you it was poetic.
Susan: Dave, please. Please. I cannot imagine the pain you went through, but you can't do this. You can't kill my little boy!
Dave: Shut up.
Susan: What if your daughter could see you now?! Is this how you want her to see you?! As a monster who could murder and innocent child?!
Dave: I'm not a monster...
Susan Mayer and Dave Williams in "If It's Only in Your Head"

(Dave walks to his car and waits. Later Mike is hurling down the intersection, Susan yells him but he does not hear her, she manages to get her hands free from the ropes that bound them and she yells his name again, she stands up as the car drives closer, she begins waving her arms at him drastically yelling for him to stop, he sees her and is confused, not knowing what is going on. It is too late, he has no time to break and Dave's car comes out from the intersection, Susan scremas in horror as the cars collide. Susan screams for MJ and walsk up to the wreckage. Both Dave and Mike are unconcious in their vehicles. Susan continues to run closer and yells for MJ again, she heres him call for her and she turns to him, relieved, she runs up to him and picks him up to hug him, he says that Dave told him to get out of the car. The fate of Mike then dawns on her but his car door opens, he runs up to them and hugs Susan as she carries MJ, the two kiss passionately.)


(Nora has just died having been shot by Carolyn and Lynette's hands are covered in her blood, she stares at Carolyn with a sad, judgmental look on her face...)

Carolyn: Well don't look at me that way, you know you wanted her dead.
Lynette: How could you say that?
Carolyn: Well, you told me about her and your husband after I made it pretty clear where I stand on whores.
Lynette: I did not want this. Don't you dare say I wanted this.
Carolyn: Shut up!
Lynette: No, I will not shut up! What's the matter with you?!
Carolyn: Have you not been paying attention?! My husband cheated on me!
Lynette: Who cares?! Who cares?! We all have pain, everyone in here has pain, but we deal with it, we swallow it and get going with our lives! What we don't do is go around shooting strangers!
Carolyn: She deserved it!
Lynette: Well, maybe you deserved to be cheated on!
Lynette Scavo and Carolyn Bigsby in "Bang"

(The whole supermarket falls silent as all of the hostages sit, scared, in anticipation of Carolyn's deadly reaction. Lynette is taken aback and looks frightened, she protests that she shouldn't have said what she did and Carolyn says that she really shouldn't have, she aims the gun for Lynette and Art Shepherd grips a food can behind himself. Craolyn is ready to fire and Art throws the can at her head, she fires the gun in the shock and it hits Lynette in the arm, she screams in paina nd falls down, Craolyn drops the guna nd falls down too, Austin jumps on her and begins to wrestle her to the gun, she begins to gain the upper hand in the fight when someone picks the gun up, there is a fire and Carolyn is shot in the head, dead, it is revealed to be Maya, one of the hostages.)


(Bree realises that Matthew and Danielle are in the house and have taken the money from the safe, she quickly runs another way into the other room to head the off in front of the front door, Danielle asks her mother to move but she refuses, it is not long before Matthew pulls a gun on her...)

Danielle: Where did you get that? What are you doing?!
Matthew: Move away!
Bree: Danielle, I want you to get out of the house now. He's a killer.
Matthew: Shut up!
Danielle: Don't point that at my mother!
Bree: Danielle! I'm serious. Go.
Matthew: What's wrong with you?! I'm gonna shoot you!
Danielle: Matthew, stop it!
Bree: If that's what it get my daughter...
Danielle: Stop it!
Bree: To see who you really are...
Danielle: Stop pointing that at my mother!
Bree: Then fine.
Danielle: What are you doing?!
Bree: Do it.
Danielle: Stop!
Bree Van de Kamp confronts Matthew Applewhite in "Remember, Part 2"

(There is a pause in Matthew as he points the gun at Bree, they stare at each other and Danielle is ever so worried, suddenly, there is the sound of a small smash, Bree and Danielle look over to the window where there is now a small bullet whole, Matthew does not look however, he falls to the ground with the bullet now in his heart, the blood pours down his chest and Danielle is pulled away by Bree who shields her from the body, the police burst in, Danielle realises he's dead and Bree cradles her as she screams in terror.)


(Lily is in the arms of the police and Gaby sees Libby step out of the car with Frank, ready to take Lily for her own...)

Gabrielle: No! No, no, no, no! No!
Carlos: Gaby, wait.
Gabrielle: You?! You don't even want to be a mother!
Libby: Look, Frank quit using, and, uh, he got a good job down at the plant. He's really stepped up.
Gabrielle: So?!
Libby: Well, so, we're gonna give the whole family thing a shot. But I'll totally give you all your money back
Gabrielle: I don't want my money back, I want my baby!
Libby: Come on, let's go.
Gabrielle: Carlos! No! Carlos, what's happening?! No, no, no mam. You don't understand, you don't understand. This is our baby! No! We've been... we've been... feeding her! We...we've been bathing her! And we wake up in the middle of the night and we rock her! Which is crazy, because, if you knew me, I don't do that! I don't do that. And my husband... my husband, he sings to her! He sings. You can't take her away!'s too late! We've already fallen in love with her!... Carlos, do something!... No, you can't go, you can't! You can't take her! No! You can't take her! No! Don't take my baby! Don't take my... No! Please!
Gabrielle Solis upon Lily Helm being taken away from her in "It Wasn't Meant to Happen"

(Gaby is very hysterical and runs to the path, however, she is restrained by Carlos as she screams out for her baby. The car containing Libby and Lily drives further down the street and Gaby is left crying, screaming, terrorised in her husbands arms as the scene fades to Mary Alice's narration.)


(Dave comes home to a more than discomforted Edie who has just discovered Dave's true intentions on the lane due to a newspaper clipping she received...)

Dave: Edie?!
Edie: I always why you were so determined to live on Wisteria Lane. You said you thought we'd be happy here. I wanted to belive you... And it turned out that you just wanted to be close to Mike Delfino.
Dave: Who gave you that?
Edie: Nobody gave it to me. I did research! You think I'm too stupid to do research?!
Dave: Edie, listen, this doesn't mean anything.
Edie: It's all there: the accident, Mike's equittle, even a little mention of how "David Dash" couldn't make it to the funeral because he had a nervous breakdown.
Dave: Honey, look. Just give me a chance to explain.
Edie: oh, so now you want to explain?... Okay, why don't you start by explaining...why you married me?
Dave: I married you because I love you.
Edie: No! You married me because you needed a cover story! So you could get close to the man who killed your family!
Dave: That's rediculous.
Edie: Yeah, it's insane! But that's why you did it. So what are you gonna do now? You gonna hurt him?...I mean, that's the only...logical explanation. And my only question is...what the hell have you been waiting for?
Dave: Honey, you're not feeling well. Let's get you upstairs into bed.
Edie: Tell me the truth you freak! Did you move us here to hurt Mike Delfino?!
Dave: He destroyed everything I ever loved, and he was never punished. I need to make things right.
Edie: Why?! Why did you have to do this?! We could have been so happy.
Dave: What are you doing?
Edie: I'm gonna tell him before you...before you do something stupid.
Dave: Edie don't... Give me that... Give me-
Edie and Dave Williams in "A Spark. To Pierce the Dark"

(Dave grabs the phone and Edie wrestles him for it, unable to dile, he grabs her by the throat and begins to strangle as the phone drops and she struggles to push him away. The life begins to leave her, she gets lower to the floor, he let's go and she takes huge gasp, breathing in heavily, Dave is shocked that she is alive. She starts to get up and runs out of the front door, she gets into her car, crying heavily, and drives down the lane as she tearily diles frantically, Orson comes out onto the street and Edie is shocked so she swerves to avoid him, she crashes into a utility pole, but she is fine, she steps out of the car but touches the door that has been electrified, she falls to the wet floor and her fate is left a mystery...)


(Renee knocks on the door of the motel room just as Bree puts the gun to her head, she is clearly angry and begins yelling and looking around...)

Renee: Where is he?
Bree: Who?
Renee: Ben! The man you're trying to steal from me!
Bree: I don't understand.
Renee: Do you think I won't hit you?! I once slapped a waitress because she forgot my crutons! You are dead!
Bree: Renee, please. You have to go.
Renee: Ever since we met, you've been spouting those Sunday school phrases! Making folks think you're this...grand lady! Well I got your number now! And you are nothing but a middle-aged skank in a Nancy Reagan nightie!... Why do you have a gun?... Bree, I asked you a question. Why is there a gun on the table?
Bree: No, don't read that!
Renee: ...Bree?!...
Bree: Please, go. Please.
Renee: Where you actually gonna-?... Oh my God.
Renee Perry saves Bree Van de Kamp in "What's to Discuss, Old Friend?"

(As Bree tears up having Renee read her suicide note, Renee realises what her friend tries to do, she hugs her, relived that she got there in the nick of time.)


(Katherine is in hospital after having stabbed herself, thinking that Dylan thinks that she married Mike when in fact, Susan did, she is happy when her daughter arrives and they begin to talk...)

Dylan: Hey, mom.
Katherine: Dylan? What are you doing here? I asked you not to come.
Dylan: I had to. You were hurt.
Katherine: Have you been to the house?... Oh, I'm so sorry. Mie wasn't there to welcome you. He's away on business.
Dylan: No, he's in jail. You told the police he stabbed you.
Katherine: I...never said that. I told you, Susan attacked me.
Dylan: Then why did the police arrest Mike?
Katherine: I don't know. Maybe he...confessed to protect her?
Dylan: Mom. Susan's his wife.
Katherine: That's ridiculous. Who told you that? Susan?
Dylan: No, Mike. They let me speak with him. Mom, Mike is in jail and that's not right if he didn't do anything....Mom,...did you stab yourself?... Mom, did you?
Katherine: ...I asked you not to come.
Dylan: Oh, mom.
Katherine: Honey, you don't understand. Susan trapped him. Filled his head with lies. I was gonna save him. He knows why I did it, he wants this... What is she doing here?
Susan: I want to help you, Katherine.
Katherine: ...I have to get to Mike... He's expecting me...for, ah...
Nurse: I told think so.
Katherine: Please! I have to go!
Dylan: Mom, please!
Katherine: Everything's gonna be wonderful!
Katherine Mayfair's menatl breakdown in "Boom Crunch"

(Katherine runs out of the hospital room and into the hall as the nurse, Dylan and Susan follow her. The nurse tries hard to restrain her but Katherine yells, she runs down the hall, wanting Mike, as staff try to stop her, they say she needs help and she cries, collapsing in a heap on the floor, devastated after putting up a struggle.)


(Mrs. McClusky is on the stands in the courtroom at Bree's trial, Trip, Bree's lawyer, belives she is up there to descredit Renee, however, Karen begins a story of her own...)

Karen: Let me tell you something about a neighborhood.
Trip: Okay...
Karen: It's not just a bunch of houses in the same place. It's a community. It's... lives that are connected. People who care about each other...
Trip: That's beautiful, but-
Karen: I know that sounds sappy, but damn it, it's true. And these wonderful... people I've lived beside... they're my family.
D.A. Stone: Your honor, I'm not sure what we're getting from this.
Karen: Oh, you will in a minute honey. When you're in a family like me and the girls, you protect each other. It's just the way it has to be. So when, uh, Gaby's stepfather came back... After everything that he'd done to her...
Trip: And what do you mean by that?
Karen: It's no secret he abused her when she was a kid.
D.A. Stone: Objection!
Judge Conti: Overruled.
Karen: So that night, when I saw him creeping around the house... I followed him in, I picked up the candlestick, and I killed that son of a bitch!
Karen McCluskey lies in court in "Give Me the Blame"

(There is an uproar stirred up in the courtroom as the whole place is shocked at the confession, Karen sits there smiling at what she has done for her friends.)

Mary Alice

(Mary Alice is chopping carrot sticks for Zach when there is a knock at the door, she walks over to it and places the knife on a table near the stairs. She opens the door to find Zach's real mother, Deirdre, and is shocked to see she has returned, her and Paul sit with Deirdre to talk...)

Deirdre: You did a good job covering your tracks. I had to spend alot of my father's money hunting you down.
Mary Alice: Congratulations. You found us.
Deirdre: You know, I never told the police what happened.
Paul: You didn't?
Deirdre: They would have put Dana in foster care, or worse: given him to my father. So I kept our little secret.
Paul: Well, we appreciate that.
Deirdre: I mean, I guess you can see, I've gotten myself cleaned up.
Mary Alice: Yes, you look lovely.
Deirdre: I'm not the same person you knew back then, Angela. I'm in a good place now.
Mary Alice: You can't have him.
Deirdre: Just because I didn't go to the police before, doesn't mean I can't do it now.
Mary Alice: Zach is our son.
Deirdre: His name's Dana.
Mary Alice: If you think I'm giving my baby to some junky, you're crazy!
Deirdre: He's not your baby!
Mary Alice: Look, you can't-!
Paul: Let's just calm down!
Deirdre: You used to be so high and mighty back at the clinic! Looking down on us, poor degenerites! Pretending you want to help but what you really want is to feel superior. You self-righteous bitch.
Mary Alice: You're still using aren't you?
Deirdre: Go to hell!... What are you doing?!
Mary Alice: Let me see your arms!
Deirdre: I said I'm clean!
Paul: Take it easy!
Mary Alice: Where do you think you're going?!
Deirdre: I'm getting my son and I'm taking him home!
Mary Alice: Paul, stop her.
Paul: Please! Come on!
Deirdre: Get your hands off me!
Paul: Get down! Get down!
Mary Alice: We raised him! We're his parents!
Paul: Come on. Come on.
Mary Alice: Paul!
Deirdre: Don't worry. I'll give him a good home.
Mary Alice and Paul Young confront Deirdre Taylor in "One Wonderful Day"

(Deirdre drops the fire-poker that she used to knock out Paul and makes her way to the stairs, Mary Alice panicks and grabs the knife that she placed down earlier, she draws it fast and plunges it into Deirdre's stomach, the girl is shocked, as is Mary Alice, Deirdre dies as Paul awakes and sees what has happened, Mary Alice stands there, not knowing what to do...)

Oh, Mary Alice, what did you do?
Paul Young

Desperate Moments


My own montage of our housewives at their most desperate...

Mary Alice pulls the gun up to her head and pulls the trigger. ("Pilot") The ladies find Mary Alice's note among her things. ("Pilot") Susan is using a potted plant to cover up her naked body as she moves along the front porch of her house. ("Pretty Little Picture") Lynette is in Mary Alice's pool, pulling her children out of it at her wake. ("Pilot") Bree slips off her fur coat in front of Rex in his motel room to reveal nothing but skimpy, red underwear underneath. ("Running to Stand Still") Gabrielle hurridly mows her lawn in her evening gown. ("Pilot") Paul is strangiling the life out of Martha in her kitchen after having hit her over the head with a blender. ("Guilty") Susan falls through the the floor of Mike's second story and gets stuck so that her legs hang from the kitchen ceiling. ("Guilty") Lynette raises a revolver to her head, ready to fire it, within her own imagination. ("Guilty") Bree and George are about to kiss when he accidentally shoots himself in the foot. ("Every Day a Little Death") Carlos is trying to attack John in the courtroom after being told of his wife's affair. ("One Wonderful Day") Mike leaves Paul alone in the desert. ("One Wonderful Day") Susan chases Mike in her mother's wedding dress, crying. ("I Wish I Could Forget You") Lynette lets a rat loose into her own home. ("You Could Drive a Person Crazy") Bree is distraught at Rex's note and throws her wedding ring into his grave in a strop. ("You'll Never Get Away From Me") Sister Mary Bernard's arm is on fire during her catfight with Gaby and Gaby rips a church hanging down to put it out. ("There's Something About a War") Susan is watching as her house burns down. ("I Know Things Now") Lynette pulls many wine bottles from Bree's garbage. ("Thank You So Much") Bree looks at Andrew in her rear-view mirror, crying, after having left him at a road-side. ("I Know Things Now") Gaby is being restrained by Carlos as Lily Helm is being taken away from her. ("It Wasn't Meant to Happen") Matthew points a gun at Bree who merely advances towards him. ("Remember, Part 2") Susan is shaving Mike who is comatose and adds another tissue to cover some blood. ("Listen to the Rain on the Roof") Lynette is covered in Nora's blood and yelling at a gun-toting Carolyn in a supermarket. ("Bang") Bree stands out in the rain, depressed, as she puts away her trash, after her own engaement party. ("Listen to the Rain on the Roof") Gaby is being arrested but is not going quietly, kicking against the police vehicle as she is restrained and Carlos watches from the porch. ("Like It Was") Carolyn Bigsby is being wrestled by Austin McCann as she tries to get to her gun. ("Bang") Susan hugs Julie on her porch as her daughter cries, after having told her of Austin's affair. ("Not While I'm Around") Lynette is trying to have sex with Tom to avoid conversation but his back spasms and she falls off of the bed and hits her head. ("What Would We Do Without You?") Gloria carefully lays an unconcious Bree into her bath. ("The Little Things You Do Together") At Gaby's wedding to Victor, her and Carlos embrace. ("Getting Married Today") Katherine's stiletto heal first hits the lane. ("Now You Know") Mike accidentally pushes Susan down the stairs. ("Something's Coming") Lynette takes off her wig to Muriel to reveal her bald head (from chemotherapy). ("Now You Know") Orson repeatedly stabs Bree's fake pregnant belly with a barbeque fork in front of Ida and Adam to prove the fork is fake. ("Now You Know") Gaby and Edie are fighting in the street and the papers Edie is holding get blown into the tornado. ("Something's Coming") Susan pours club soda down her leg and pretends to be in labor in front of Mike and his mother. ("Mother Said") Lynette slaps her stepdaughter, Kayla, across the face in a clothing store. ("Mother Said") Bree is running down the highway pushing a stroller with an ice sculpture sitting in it. ("Free") Gaby is fighting with Ellie on the floor over a bag of money. ("Free") Susan and Mike's car crash into Lila and Paige Dash's. ("You're Gonna Love Tomorrow") Lynette pushes Anne Schilling in a ladies bathroom. ("What More Do I Need?") Bree cries as she makes a potroast. ("We're So Happy You're So Happy") Gaby and Susan brawl on the lawn of 4351. ("Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else") Susan is jumping at a roadside, waving her arms in the air, trying to warn Mike, who is barrelling down the road, to stop as he will crash into Dave's car and kill MJ. ("If It's Only in Your Head") Lynette defends Anne against Warren Schilling. ("City on Fire") Orson is hit around the head by Rose Kemper after breaking into her house. ("A Spark. To Pierce the Dark.") Ana walks up the stairs, having just bested Gaby. ("If It's Only in Your Head") Edie lies in the middle of the road, dying, as all of her neighbors watch. ("Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know") Susan and Mike are walking back down the aisle but are stopped by a roughed up Katherine. ("Nice is Different Than Good") Lynette runs in front of the plane to save Celia Solis. ("Boom Crunch") Bree chases Katherine, who is pushing a wedding cake along, to stop her from destroying it. ("The God-Why-Don't-You-Love-Me Blues") Gaby and Lynette begin to fight in choir. ("Boom Crunch") Julie battles off Eddie who is strangling her from behind. ("Epiphany") Irina throws a pot full of red liquid all over Lynette after being insulted by her. ("My Two Young Men") Bree hoses Orson down on their front lawn. ("How About a Friendly Shrink?") Gaby climbs up Angie's trellace. ("I Guess This is Goodbye") The car containing Patrick Logan explodes. ("I Guess This is Goodbye") Renee Perry arrives on the lane. ("Remember Paul?") Susan cleans in skimpy lingerie for a webcam. ("Truly Content") Lynette is slapped across the face by her mother-in-law when dressed as a pin-up model. ("Excited and Scared") Bree fires her revolver into the air, sparking a riot. ("Down the Block There's a Riot") Gaby cries in a hospital room after Carlos has just told her their daughter was switched at birth. ("You Must Meet My Wife") Beth shoots herself in the head. ("Searching") Susan is wrestled to the floor by Felicia Tilman who is trying to stab her with a needle full of anti-freeze. ("And Lots of Security...") Tom slips on the stairs after Lynette has planted peanutbutter there. ("Where Do I Belong?") Carlos slams his door in Bree's face. ("Moments in the Woods") Alejandro is advancing on Gaby - Carlos hits him round the head with a candle stick, killing him. ("Come on Over for Dinner") The girls stand around Alejandro's grave. ("Secrets That I Never Want to Know") The girls have a catfight in Gaby's garden and fall into her pool. ("Secrets That I Never Want to Know") Julie pulls out a knife at dinner to people who think she is a psychopath. ("Is This What You Call Love?") Penny is dressed in a skimpy cat outfit and lashes her whip in front of Lynette, Jane and Tom. ("Witch's Lament") Bree receives a note that has the exact same wording as the one Mary Alice received. ("Secrets That I Never Want to Know") Gaby accidentally hits Dana with her car. ("School of Hard Knocks") Renee barges into Bree's motel room. ("What's to Discuss, Old Friend?") Susan cradles Mike's dead body in her arms after he was shot. ("You Take for Granted") Lynette cries in her car after Tom signed his divorce papers. ("With So Little to Be Sure Of") Bree is moving through the press with Trip as they continue to take her picture due to her scandelous trial. ("Give Me the Blame") Gaby and Renee run from Cumberly's after having stolen a dress. ("Finishing the Hat") The girls play their final poker game. ("Finishing the Hat") Mary Alice watches as a ghost as Susan leaves the lane. ("Finishing the Hat")

Jdg Desperate Moments


Wisteria's hysterias...

Wisteria Hysteria

My Favourite Quotes

See Main Quote and My :O Scenes (Susan, Lynette, Bree, Gaby, Edie, Renee, Katherine, Karen and Mary Alice).

Well, I guess we could say that she shot herself in the living room and then crawled out back to die.

Edie Britt in "Anything You Can Do"

I have to walk around in heels all day! You get to sit in a chair and roll!

Gabrielle Solis in "In Buddy's Eyes"

This is not a joke, Tom. Something has attacked our home and when that happens you don't just stand by; you fight it! Screw this creature that has come into our lives uninvited and is trying to destroy us! It will not defeat me.

Lynette Scavo in "Now I Know, Don't Be Scared"

I hate Susan Mayer. Every time I see those big doe eyes of her's it makes me wanna go out and shoot a deer.

Edie Britt in "Who's That Woman?"

You disappoint me Paul. Is this really how you want to spent your last moments? Sitting there, shooting me dirty looks, as if I didn't already know, you dislike me.

Felicia Tilman in "And Lots of Security..."

Roberta: [After being told that there is no good reason for breaking into someone's home] What if there's a baby inside and there's a fire?... See, not everything's as cut and dry as you think it is, is it, rookie?
Karen: Roberta, don't piss him off. You can't take a club to the head like you used to.

—Karen and Roberta's interrogation in "If It's Only in Your Head"

Hello. I want to thank you all for coming out here and expressing your genuine sorrow and disbelief. My sister Martha would have been so touched. I know that many of you have questions. I've just spoken with the police who are still putting together the details of what happened. What they do know is... Martha died a violent death. Yes I know. It's hard to hear. Apparently, there was a struggle. They found scratching and bruising on her body, several broken bones, and traces of dirt in her lungs... which leads us to believe that she was still alive at the time of her burial and probably in great pain. But the good news... is there are no signs that she had been molested.

Felicia Tilman in "Every Day a Little Death"

My sister was a wretched pig of a woman and the day she died this world became a better place.

Felicia Tilman on Martha Huber in "Move On"

[To Mike] Every time we went out for pizza, you could have said, "Oh, and by the way, I once killed a man.". Or when you said, "Hey, let's go jogging!" you could have said, "Wow, by the way, I once killed a man.". Every time we went to the movies and the hero shot the bad guy, you could have turned to me and said, "Oh, by the way, I did that once.", but you didn't!

Susan Mayer in "The Ladies Who Lunch"

[Narration] If there was one thing that Gabrielle Solis didn't appreciate, it was a rival, whether she walked on two legs... or four. So when Gabrielle walked into her bedroom that afternoon, she had made a decision... the bitch had to go.

Mary Alice Young in "Hello, Little Girl"

Yeah, that's rough... By the way: I have cancer.

Lynette Scavo in "Now You Know"

Mike: Hey, Susan. Watcha doin'?
Susan: Oh, just locked myself out... naked.

—Mike and Susan in "Pretty Little Picture"

Renee: We're both very beautiful people.
Gabrielle: God bless you for having the courage to say that.

—Gaby and Renee in "Let Me Entertain You"

[To George] Please, you're dating my wife, call me Rex.

Rex Van de Kamp in "Move On"

[To Robin] Just because I enjoy having sex with you does not make me a lesbian!

Katherine Mayfair in "My Two Young Men"

Julie: You mean like how dad's girlfriend is always smiling and saying nice things but deep down you just know she's a bitch?
Susan: I don't like that word, Julie. But, yeah, that's a great example.

—Susan and Julie Mayer in "Pilot"

[To Karen] No I cannot kill you today! I have pilates.

Bree Van de Kamp in "You Take for Granted"

Juanita: We don't need lots of money.
Gabrielle: Hey! What did I say about that kind of language?!

—Gaby and Juanita in "Connect! Connect!"

[Upon finding out she is pregnant] Are you sure it's not cancer?

Lynette Scavo in "If It's Only in Your Head"

What are you doing? That's my suicide pie!

Karen McCluskey in "You Take for Granted"

It's in the detonator...

Angie Bolen in "I Guess This is Goodbye"

[To Carlos] Okay, there may be two tramps in this house but only one of them is getting paid!

Gabrielle Solis on Ellie Leonard in "Opening Doors"

Rex cries after he ejaculates.

Bree Van de Kamp in "Pretty Little Picture"

I hate to see people cry, it reminds me how little I actually care about others.

Renee Perry in "Watch While I Revise the World"

[To Bree] You think I won't hit you, I once slapped a waitress because she forgot my crutons, you are dead!

Renee Perry in "What's to Discuss, Old Friend?"

Carlos: (opens door) Help! Police!
Gabrielle: That's the closet!

Gabrielle and Carlos Solis in "Free"

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