Wiksteria Lane

"You'll Never Get Away from Me" is the 26th episode of Desperate Housewives.


Bree's mother-in-law, Phyllis, gets her in trouble with the law. In the meantime, Susan tries bravely to accept Edie's new role in Julie's life, whereas Lynette's demanding boss makes her miss Parker's first day of kindergarten. Gabrielle finally comes to terms about her feelings regarding Carlos and John after seeing the latter with another woman, and Betty has some troubles with her captive.


Previously on Desperate Housewives[]

As one affair ends, another begins, and yet another is exposed. And while some people can't wait to get out of the house, others are being kept there against their will.
Mary Alice Young


Bree and her mother-in-law, Phyllis, are at the cemetery, in order to bring some flowers to Rex's grave. Phyllis asks Bree which of those headstones is Rex's, as she always forgets. Bree indicates the way, saying it's down the row she's pointing at. Phyllis takes her arm "Oh, yes. That's right."

Over the years, Bree Van de Kamp had grown increasingly concerned over her mother-in-law's forgetfulness. Her lapses had become more frequent, more glaring and more dangerous.

Several flashbacks ensue: Phyllis is seen in a room and heard saying "Oh, honey, did I forget to take the pins out of that dress?", as the camera pulls away to reveal Bree taking a pin out of the dress she's wearing, which apparently stung her; then, Phyllis is seen in the back yard of Bree's home, asking Bree if she didn't tell her that she was gonna paint that chair, and we see Bree with an outift completely ruined by wet green paint; and then we see Phyllis in Bree's kitchen, saying "Oh, dear. Didn't I mention I waxed the floor?", as the camera pulls away to reveal Bree lying on the floor, as though she's just slipped and fallen.

Yes, Bree was worried about Phyllis' faulty memory. But she was more than happy to remind her. Especially when it came to the important things.

Bree and Phyllis notice Rex's open grave.

Bree asks her mother-in-law if she's given any thought to when she might be ending her visit, and Phyllis is surprised and rather offended by this question, promptly asking if she's become a burden. Bree tells her she was simply asking when she was planning to leave, and that there was no agenda behind the question. Phyllis is thus soothed, but says she doesn't know, and that they should play it by ear. She grabs Bree's arm again, and the latter says "Yes. Let's.", though unconvincingly. As they approach the sighting of Rex's grave, they both appear to be surprised by the fact that it is empty, meaning a large hole is in its place. Bree asks what happened, and Phyllis says it looks like someone dug Rex up. Bree says she got that, but asks why they would do that. Phyllis says she doesn't know, but a moment later tells her maybe this has something to do with that insurance investigator, who had come by asking all sorts of questions. Bree is surprised to hear about this, as she knows nothing of what Phyllis is talking about, and the old woman says she must've been at the store, but anyway, he was very suspicious that Rex didn't die of a heart attack: he said Rex was poisoned. Phyllis asks "Did I not mention that?", before turning her back on her and letting out a sneaky smile.

It was at that moment Bree could finally see the truth: her mother-in-law's memory was fine. It was her soul that was faulty.
Mary Alice Young

Act I[]

The parties took place on the lawn of 4347 Wisteria Lane every Sunday afternoon. Chloe Pendergast would bring the tea set, which was appropriate, since she was the hostess. Brittany Kreiss provided formal attire from her mother's closet. And Marissa Ann McKay invited the additional guests, some of whom hadn't been to a party in years. Of course, it never occured to the three young girls that while they were busy playing out their fantasy... one of the older girls in the neighborhood was engaging in a fantasy of her own.

The three young girls have a make-believe tea party.

A young girl by the name of Chloe Pendergast is seen walking up to a small table located on the front lawn of Ida Greenberg's house. She brings with her a tray with a toy tea set and puts it down on the table. Shortly afterwards, Brittany Kreiss arrives, bringing with her a box containing old outfits, by means of a pulling cart. Marissa Ann McKay brings with her several dolls and plush animals. Later, the girls are seen dressed with the old clothes, sitting down at the table along with the dolls and pretending to have tea.


Gabrielle indulges in some daydreaming.

The camera pulls away to reveal Gabrielle Solis holding a cup of coffee whilst staring out the window at gardener John Rowland, who is shirtless and trimming some bushes. John smiles at her, and she waves at him. He then drops his shears and heads inside, instantly holding her from behind and kissing her on the back and in the shoulders. Gabrielle is then seen again at the window, holding the coffee mug, and looking sexually thrilled... until she wakes up from her daydreaming and notices that the gardener actually doing the yard work outside, Ralph, is everything but attractive. Gabby looks rather disgusted. She then heads outside, and greets Ralph, while at the same time trying to go around him. He asks her if she's going shopping, to which she replies "You know me." while getting in her car.

There was nothing Gabrielle enjoyed as much as shopping. And even when she couldn't afford to take anything home, she took satisfaction in looking at the merchandise.
Mary Alice Young

Gabrielle drives up to another neighborhood and checks out John Rowland mowing the grass at some property from her car. She looks as though she craves him. Then, she checks her watch.


Susan spots her family having fun with Edie through a window.

Susan Mayer is seen checking her watch as well, as she looks as though she's impatiently waiting for something or someone outside her home. Mike is working on his car when he notices her. She waves at him. She's looking at Edie Britt's home, and Mike does the same. She then starts to parade down the street, and he catches up with her and asks her what's going on. Susan explains to him that it's Karl's weekend to have Julie and they're always back by 6 o'clock, which is their custody agreement. However, it is after 6. Mike points out that it's only approximately 6:15, which Susan uses to back up her point. Mike tells her he's sure they just forgot, but Susan won't let go of her upset grin and tells him there's nothing she can do as she has a court order. Mike says it'd still be nice of her to give them a grace period, and Susan says she's being nice, as she could have Karl arrested. She then explains that she is all about Karl spending time with Julie, but he's with Edie, who is not exactly the maternal type. She adds that she wouldn't be a good mother if she wasn't concerned, after all, who knows what passes for a kid-friendly time at Edie's home? "Drugs? Porn?... Smoking?". As they get closer to the house, Julie is heard singing "This Little Light of Mine (I'm Gonna Let It Shine)". Susan is surprised. Mike points out that it doesn't sound as though they're having an orgy inside. The two of them look through the window and see Edie, with a pink cast on her left leg, sitting in the couch, with the leg up, and playing her guitar. Julie is standing behind the couch, singing, and Karl is videotaping the whole thing with his portable camera. Mike tells Susan "Well, obviously, they saw us coming". Susan looks angered and leaves.


Lynette tells her son she won't go to school with him.

Parker and Tom are playing baseball in their front yard, being watched by little Penny who is in her crib, when Lynette drives up in her car and parks it outside the garage. She greets them, and when she gets out of the car she opens the door to the back seat and gets out a bag with school supplies, including "a really cool backpack". Parker checks it out, anxiously, and thanks his mom. Lynette then subtly tries to tell her son that on his first day of school he and his dad can go find his cubby and then they can hang the backpack up. Parker asks "You're not taking me?", to which Lynette replies that actually his father is taking him to school on his first day. Parker is upset, and says that he thought his mommy was taking him. Lynette tells him she has to work, and her boss is a mean, mean lady, and if she misses work she'll lose her job and then they won't have any money to buy food. Parker doesn't budge, and Lynette tells him that if she could be there for him, she would. Still very upset, Parker hands her the backpack and crosses his arms. Lynette vents and says "Alright." Tom is surprised by her attitude. Lynette says that she didn't know it was that important for Parker to have her there, and so she will talk to her boss and see what she can do. Parker smiles and says "Thank you, mommy." He then takes his backpack back and runs inside the house. Tom tells Lynette that their son really played her, to which she replies that when a kid is that good, one's gotta give him his due. She takes the crumpled up ball of paper that came inside the backpack and throws it away.


Bree argues with Detective Barton.

A small ball of curdled up paper is then seen entering a trash can at the police station. Bree is talking to Detective Barton. She seems surprised. "An autopsy?", she asks, adding "Detective, Rex died of a heart attack." Det. Barton points out that there were some anomalies in the doctor's report. Bree asks about those anomalies, and he answers that he's not at liberty to discuss that with her. Bree thinks for a moment there, and asks him if she's a suspect. He asserts that he didn't say that, and Bree tells him that if she is they're wasting their time, as she loved Rex and everyone who knows her is sure that she'd be incapable of hurting him. Detective Barton asks "You sure about that?", and when Bree thinks about his response she realizes that he talked to Phyllis. He replies yet again that he can't discuss the case, whilst getting up to put a file in its place. Bree gets up, saying that Phyllis is her mother-in-law, so of course she's gonna say horrible things about her. Det. Barton tells her to lower her voice, and Bree doesn't, adding that Phyllis blamed her for every problem she and Rex ever had. He asks "So there were problems with the marriage?", to which she replies "Well, it was a marriage. Of course there were problems." He then asks, while sitting down, if he can record what she's saying just so that there is no confusion over her statement. She tells him he may not, and he says "So you refuse to make a statement?", and she says she doesn't refuse anything, she's just telling him to stay away from Phyllis, who is a raving loon. He tells her that perhaps she'd be more comfortable with an attorney present. Bree is angered, and tells him she'll give him a statement. She sits down and Barton holds up the recording device, turning it on. "My husband died of a heart attack. I loved him very deeply. And your mother did a lousy job!" She gets up and leaves, closing the office's door behind her, and Barton turns off the recording device.

Act II[]

Phyllis is seen the next morning coming down the stairs of Bree's house, looking as though she's just woken up, without much focus. As she heads towards the kitchen, Bree sneaks up from behind the stairs and then takes them to go the upper floor.

To Bree's way of thinking, there were two kinds of people in the world: those who were useless before their morning coffee, and those who weren't.
Mary Alice Young

"Don't rush me, Bree, I'm an old woman!"

As Phyllis fills up a mug with coffee, Bree, in her mother-in-law's bedroom upstairs, takes out her clothes from the closet, as well as a travelling bag. Phyllis then comes out of the kitchen, with the coffee mug in one hand, and a piece of bread with cheese, which bites off of, on the other hand. She is surprised with what she sees: her daughter-in-law in front of the door, surrounded by all of Phyllis' luggage, and holding up the clothes and shoes she might wear that day. Bree gives her a cold smile. Phyllis asks what's going on. The next shot is that of a taxi's trunk containing said luggage being closed by its driver, and Bree taking Phyllis by the arm to the cab. She tells Bree not to rush her as she is an old woman. Phyllis gets inside the car, and Bree quickly closes the door. She then turns to the cab driver and tells him to get her out of here. As he drives away, Phyllis sticks her head out of the car and yells at her that she wouldn't be acting that way if she didn't feel guilty about something. Bree just smiles and waves at her mother-in-law, and then that smile disappears and she throws her hand down, filled with disdain.

In the prison's visiting room, Gabrielle is working on her nails when Carlos comes in, accompanied by guards. When he sits down, she hands him a card and he asks what is the occasion. She reminds him that it's their anniversary, and he says "Oh, right." She asks him how he could forget their anniversary, considering all he does is sit in a cell all day long staring at a calendar. He asks her what the big deal is, since their marriage was a sham anyway. Gabrielle tells him they're not doing this again. Carlos replies that in real marriages wives are faithful, and she says that in those marriages husbands remember anniversaries, so they're even. He asks her if she is equating forgetting their anniversary with cheating on him, and she becomes angry and points out that he is clearly determined to ruin that special day. He asks her what is wrong with her that she doesn't feel guilty. She tells him she feels tons of guilt, so he should just back off, and he claims she never even apologised, to which she replies that she apologised a million times, to which he adds that she always followed up her apologies with an excuse, such as "I was lonely", "You weren't home enough" and "A woman needs to be loved". She states that a woman does need to be loved. And since he didn't give it to her, she had to find it elsewhere.


Matthew admires the gift Carlos unknowingly gave his wife.

Carlos says "So that's what the teenager was doing in our bedroom: filling you with love." Gabby says "Say what you want, but John Rowland loved me like no one ever has. Not as a trophy or as a possession, but for me. He loved me." He lets out a sustained laugh, and Gabby says he really did. Carlos won't give up on his smile, and a spiteful Gabrielle says "Let me count the way: gently, savagedly, frequently, upside down..." He interrupts her little enumeration by banging the table with his hand, infuriated. The guard approaches them and asks if there's a problem there. Carlos quiets down, and Gabby says to the guard: "No. It's our anniversary. We're just reliving the good times." Later, Gabrielle arrives on Wisteria Lane in a brand-new maroon Aston Martin. She parks in her driveway and Matthew Applewhite, carrying a hose, comes up to her and tells her that's an amazing car. Gabrielle says it was an anniversary gift from her husband. As she walks away, Matthew tells her Carlos is very generous, to which she quietly replies, with a snarky smile, "More than he knows."

At her house, Susan takes off her cap and says "I'm sorry, what?"; in front of her, Julie tells her she's singing at church for the Family Follies, and Edie's accompanying her on her guitar, and adds that the latter is really good. Julie asks her mom if there's a problem with her and Edie being an act. Susan tells her no, but then says that she's a little surprised Julie didn't ask her to accompany her first. Julie asks what she could accompany her with, as she doesn't play an instrument. Susan claims that she plays the piano, and that Julie knows that. Julie asks her how she could possibly know if she's never seen her playing. Susan explains to her that she played in high school, and Julie jokes that therefore the last time she "tickled the ivories" was in the late '70s. Susan corrects her, saying it was the early '80s, and Julie smiles. Her mom then says she's not gonna argue with her, and that if she wants to do the show with Edie, she can, which is fine by her. She then gets up to leave, but turns back around and asks Julie if Edie's really good. Her daughter says she knows her guitar. She adds that apparently there were a lot of musicians in her family, like the Von Trapps... the difference being that Edie's brother OD'd.


The Applewhites' prisoner tries to escape.

At the Applewhite house, Betty is setting up the food tray for prisoner and Matthew tells his mom that he just wants to go outside and play a little bit of ball. Betty tells her that he's such an excellent player that people will want to be his friend and before you know it they'll be wanting to drop by and calling, and they need to keep a low profile. Matthew gets the gun and heads for the door that leads to the basement. He tells her he knows that, but he needs to get out of that house some time as he's going crazy there. When he unlocks the door, it is slammed against him as their prisoner was waiting just outside. The tray goes up in the air and Betty is thrown to the floor, much like the gun, as the man, still with his hands shackled, throws himself against Matthew, who tries to overpower him. The two of them go up against the kitchen table, and a bowl with fruit falls to the floor and breaks. Matthew then throws him against the refrigerator and the two of them fall to the floor afterwards, still holding each other as they struggle. Betty gets up, and the prisoner uses his shackles to try and hit Matthew, but the latter ducks and he breaks a vase of flowers instead. As he tries to escape, Betty grabs him by the leg and he falls to the floor. Matthew throws himself on top of him and Betty grabs the gun and instantly hits the man over the head with it, causing him to drop unconscious to the floor. Matthew, still on top of him, looks at his mother, very surprised. Outside, Susan is seen walking up to their house and ringing their doorbell. Inside, the Applewhites get very concerned. Betty puts the gun down on a table, with blood on its handle, and answers the door, bluntly asking Susan "What is it?".

Susan and Betty

"I'm baking cherry pie."

She cheerfully tells her that her daughter is singing a song at church, and she wants to accompany her on the piano but she hasn't played in years, and because Betty was so amazing at Rex's funeral the other day, she was wondering... and she is forced to stop right there, because Betty was able to catch up on Susan's train of thought and immediately interrupted her with a cold "I don't give lessons.", while putting her right hand on her blouse, near the shoulder. Susan is disappointed. They give each other awkward smiles, while Betty removes her hand, and Susan notices the blood stains on Betty's blouse, where her fingers were just now. She is surprised and points out that she has something on her shirt. Betty notices the stains and says "I'm baking cherry pie. Excuse me.", before heading back inside and closing the door on Susan's face. Once Susan's gone and Betty's back in the house, the prisoner is no longer in the kitchen, just the shattered glass and splattered blood. Matthew asks her what happened to maintaining a low profile, because if she's gonna keep being rude to people, they're gonna start whispering about them. Betty grabs a sponge and tells him he's right, as they do want to fit in.


Lynette catches Stu playing with the videoconference system.

At Parcher & Murphy, Lynette is seen coming out of her office, and Stu the receptionist stops her, saying "Lynette! Check it out." Lynette looks at his computer screen, where the inside of a mouth of a young man is seen, making noises and biting down. Stu says "Jason's mouth.", and they both turn to look at Jason, the young man who is holding up his cell phone and its camera to his mouth. Lynette, clearly considering their behavior childish, asks Stu if that isn't the new videoconference setup, and he says it is, and asks her if she doesn't think the resolution is fantastic. She gives him a "never mind"-type gesture and look, and walks away. She gets into Nina's office. She is seating at the secretary, checking out something on her computer, and Lynette makes it clear that she's got something to say about the next day's morning meeting. She goes on about how slow the first hour of the meeting is, and that she's got this thing to do, and Nina asks her if it's about her kids again. Lynette says she knows she promised she wouldn't do this, but Parker really needs her there with him on the first day of kindergarten. Nina interrupts her little story by asking why that should be her problem. Lynette answers because they can't escape the fact that she has kids. She adds that she loves her job, but to be fair, there needs to be some sort of balance. Nina asks her what about the people who didn't have kids, doesn't she think they might need a little more balance in their lives? Nina says that maybe they'd like to catch a matinee, or come in a little late after a crazy night out, or even get a haircut, which she herself hasn't been able to do for two months. Therefore, this is about fairness to the people who are childless by choice. Lynette caves in, and turns to leave. When she gets to door, she turns back to Nina and says "And I'm sorry about your hair. I can see why you're upset." She leaves, and Nina makes a weird face. Outside the office, Stu tries to capture Lynette on camera, telling her to open her mouth. She grabs him by the arm to pull him and his cell phone away, but then has a better idea. "Hang on a sec.", she says, while checking out the cell phone. At the Scavo household, Parker takes a cell phone and tells his mom that he doesn't understand what's going on. The computer in front of him and his parents has been set up with the videoconference system. Lynette tells her child that said system will allow her to be with him on his first day of school. Parker doesn't seem too thrilled, and hearing his mom saying "The resolution is fantastic." doesn't really help much.

The next day, Gabrielle decided to cheer herself up with another round of window-shopping. But this time, she was taken aback by what was on display.
Mary Alice Young
Gabby shocked

Gabrielle is shocked to see John "trimming the bushes".

Gabrielle drives up to some neighborhood on her new Aston Martin, and checks out John Rowland trimming some bushes with an electric chainsaw. She gazes at him with apparent anxiety, until she notices a middle-aged red-headed woman, Joan Novak, coming out of the house. Mrs. Novak starts stroking John's back and gestures at him to come inside. John does, and Gabby is very surprised. She gets out of her car and heads for the house as well. She then looks through the window, sneakily, and is shocked by what she sees. We hear moans coming from inside the house, implying John and Joan are having sex. An infuriated Gabrielle starts to leave, until she notices the chainsaw, takes it and turns it on. Moments later, when John and Joan get out of the house (with the latter dressed in a robe) and kiss, Gabby watches from her car, and then drives off with a smile. John and Mrs. Novak turn to the front yard and are both shocked to see that the woman's flowers have all been cut off from their vases.

Act III[]


Mike visits Felicia Tilman.

Mike visits Felicia Tilman, who is back from the hospital, at her house. He brings her a small vase with flowers. Felicia's got a blackened eye, a mottled face, her right arm is in a cast and her neck in a brace. They greet each other, and Mike hands her the vase. Felicia says she can't tell him how long it's been since she's gotten flowers from a handsome man. Better yet, she could tell him, but she doesn't want him to feel sorry for her. When she moves from the door to position the vase in her front porch, Mike notices some luggage inside the house. He asks her where she's off to. She tells him she's going back to Utah for a few weeks, as the recuperation is taking longer than the doctors anticipated. She then asks him if they've caught young Zachary already. Mike says no, and tells her that's actually why he's there. Felicia says "So the flowers were just a ruse. Figures." She then puts the flowers down as Mike chooses to not make much of this previous statement. He says he's trying to find Zach before he gets into any more trouble. He asks her if she knows of any friends he might have or anywhere he might be holed up? "I know you were close to him.", he adds up, with Felicia replying with a "Funny thing. Since he beat me and threw me down the stairs, we just don't stay in touch like we should." She then asks him since when he cares so much about Zach Young. Mike says "It's complicated.", and Felicia responds with a "I'll bet." She then tells him she's sure he's out there somewhere trying to find his father, which she trusts Mike made impossible. Mike says "No, I let Paul go. I couldn't go through with it." Felicia looks disappointed and rather disgusted. "That was a mistake.", she says, dismissively, before moving to go back inside the house. Mike tells Felicia, thus stopping her, that Paul will spend the rest of his life running from the police, which he thinks is punishment enough. Felicia explains to him that Zach is the only connection that Paul has with his dead wife, and at some point he will run back to the lane looking for him. Mike looks as though he's just had a realization. Felicia says, with a smile, "I don't like to be negative, but you really should've killed him." She gets inside the house and closes the door on a consternated Mike.


Bree prepares to tell her children what happened.

That night, Bree, Andrew and Danielle are all having dinner. They're all very quiet while listening to some classical music. Bree drinks a glass of wine and then puts it down on the table, before preparing to tell her children something. She announces, at the risk of ruining a lovely evening, that she's got some unpleasant news: the police dug up their father that day. Andrew and Danielle turn their heads to her in shock. Andrews asks "What?" and Danielle asks "Why?". Bree explains to them that apparently they want to run an autopsy, as they don't think Rex died of a heart attack, they think that somebody was poisoning him. Danielle asks who would poison her daddy, and Bree says "Well, apparently I'm a suspect.", before sipping some more wine. Andrew and Danielle are surprised to hear her saying this and keep staring at her. She notices their staring, and explains that the police always looks at spouses first, it has something to do with statistics. She gets no response other than their apparent awkwardness, and adds that it's just a formality and she should be cleared in no time. They keep looking at her in silent, and Bree raises her voice a bit as she tells them to please stop looking at her that way as she obviously didn't kill their father, because she loved him deeply. Danielle acknowledges that, but says that she and her father had a lot of problems and everyone knows that. Bree asserts that they had issues indeed, but she never would have hurt him. Danielle asks her about the night her father had his second heart attack. "You must have loved him a lot to make the bed before taking him to the hospital." Bree tells Danielle that she was in shock, and that her daughter knows that. Danielle leans up against the chair, and Andrew remains silent. Bree addresses him: "Andrew, surely you don't think I murdered your father." Andrew tells her he knows she didn't, as she's not capable of murder. Bree thanks her, and he asserts that that was no compliment: it takes guts to kill someone, which is something Bree doesn't have. Bree, holding her glass of wine, looks at him with surprise.


Betty helps Susan with her piano-playing skills.

Susan is playing away at Betty Applewhite's piano. She thanks Betty, with a smile, for changing her mind about helping her, which is something she really appreciated. Betty smiles back at her and says she's happy to help. She then stops Susan and tells her she's sorry if she seemed rude before, explaining afterwards that she was having a bad day. Susan smiles as though she's not making much of that situation anymore, and she keeps hitting the piano keys and stepping on the pedal. Betty tells her, rather unconvincingly, that her playing is good, but then she adds that Susan might want to lay off the pedal. Susan is surprised and says "Really? Oh, I thought it made it sound more professional.", to which Betty bluntly replies "It doesn't." Hip-hop music starts playing in the background, and Susan continues playing. She points out to Betty that her son really likes to play his hip-hop music loud. Betty, in a rather mechanic manner, as though she knows she's about to engage in chit-chat, crosses her arms and says, with a smile, in a rather sing-song and slow fashion: "The good news is that it drowns out the sound of the... dryer." Susan notices her weirdness, as though she realises that Betty made up that sentence as it flowed out of her mouth, and she keeps playing the piano. As the camera pans away, we hear Betty telling Susan to arch her fingers. Inside the basement's compartiment, we see Matthew drilling away at the metal door, reinforcing its resistance, next to a radio that's blasting out the hip-hop music. Matthew, however, isn't even listening, as he's got ear plugs on.

Act IV[]


Julie tries to stop her mom and Edie from arguing.

At Edie's place, she is jamming with Julie. Edie plays the guitar while the young woman finishes singing her song, whilst holding a pitch pipe. Susan comes in after the song is over and claps. Edie seems to be annoyed by her presence. Susan says hi and apologizes for interrupting, then explaining that she knocked but apparently the two women didn't hear her. Edie says that they heard, but they just hoped that whoever it was would go away. She adds that she's still hoping that'll happen. Julie tries to break the tension by promptly asking her mom what's up, and Susan announces that she has good news, as she's been taking piano lessons with Betty Applewhite, and she just thought maybe she could join them, like in a trio. Edie says she doesn't do trio, and sarcastically thanks her anyway. Susan tells Edie that she doesn't mean to get technical, but the show is a family thing, and Edie's not family. She replies that she has talent, and for most audiences talent actually trumps family. Susan asks her what makes her so sure she doesn't have talent, and Edie, with a cheery yet evil smile, claims it's a hunch. Susan then tells Edie that everyone's seen her talent, which is a nice way of saying "Why don't you put some curtains on your bedroom window?". Julie jumps in again, but to no avail, and Edie tells Susan to be honest and admit that she didn't want any part of that until she found out she was involved. Susan says that's not true, and Edie claims it is, and that it burns Susan that her own daughter picked Edie over her. Susan insists Julie didn't pick Edie, saying it just hadn't occurred to her that she would agree to do it, but now that she knows, she would have picked her mother if she had to do it all over again. Edie says she wouldn't. Susan says they can put it to a test. She then turns to Julie and asks her who she'd rather have playing with her. Julie doesn't want to answer, and Susan tries to convince her by saying it's okay to answer. She asks again who she would rather have performing with her in the family talent show, and Edie turns to Julie and says "Yes. Who do you want with you in front of all those people? And remember, it's church. They are going to be judging you." Julie is forced to give in, and firstly tells them that they both suck, and the two women realise she's got a point. Then, Julie says that if she had to choose... she'd choose her mother. She then apologizes to Edie, who says "Fair enough". Edie then tells Julie she'd like her pitch pipe back. Julie seems saddened.

Gabrielle walks out of her house to get the mail when John Rowland is seen getting out of his truck and walking up to her, asking "It was you, wasn't it?". Gabby says "Hello, John. Long time, no see.", and John tells her that one of the neighbors said he saw an Aston Martin driving away... much like the car Gabrielle has parked outside her house. Gabrielle tells him someone had to tend the yard, as he was busy elsewhere. John asks if she saw them, to which Gabrielle replies that she did, and then she adds that the woman is old enough to be his mother, and even old enough to be her mother. John says that Joan is only 41. "Joan? You're calling her Joan?", she asks, and John asks why he shouldn't, considering they're friends. Gabrielle tells him she knows his friends, and he doesn't do to his friends what she saw him doing to that wrinkly old lady. John stops her from getting back inside the house, positioning himself in front of her and asking what the big deal is with her catching him "doing it" with somebody else. Gabby promptly tells him that he's supposed to be in love with her. John asks her what, and she reminds him of the times he whispered in her ear that she was the only woman he'd ever love. She then asks him if he was lying to her, if he was only trying to get her in bed. John says of course not: he did love her, but they broke up.


John asks Gabby if she'd like to get back together.

Gabby asks if he's ever heard of a mourning period. John says he realises it may seem quick, but he's got feelings for Mrs. Novak, and he might actually be in love with her. Gabby puts her hands to her belly and says "Oh, my God."; John asks what the matter is, and if something's wrong with the baby, to which she replies "No!" while walking past him. She then sits on the front porch's steps and says the problem is with her, who is beyond stupid. She throws her letter onto the step she's sitting in. John tells her she's not stupid, and Gabrielle insists she is, as just the day before she was still fantasizing that things might work with John, that a one-bedroom apartment might be cosy. John says "Mrs. Solis, please...", and Gabrielle interrupts him by saying "Oh, my God. I almost left my husband for someone who calls me "Mrs. Solis"!". John sighs and then sits down next to her. He puts his hand on her leg and asks if she's upset because she wants to get back together. He says that he can break up with Joan. She says "That's okay, sweetie, I'm good." An awkward moment ensues, and John gets up, turns to her and says "So this is it for us? Cos I really feel like we should end it better than this." Gabby says "Actually, John, given how stupid both of us have been, this is an entirely appropriate ending. Both John and Gabrielle look disappointed as he walks back into his truck and she watches him go.

A police officer opens the door to Detective Barton's office and leads the way for Bree, Andrew and Danielle Van de Kamp to get in. The detective is surprised to see Mrs. Van de Kamp there, and asks her what he can do for her. Bree explains she would like to take a lie detector test to eliminate any uncertainty regarding her husband's death, and Barton asks her if she's sure she doesn't want an attorney present. Bree tells him she'll waive all that, and that her only stipulation is that she wants her children to be able to see her answering the questions. Barton says he thinks he can accommodate them.

Bree test

Bree takes the lie detector test.

Later, Bree is hooked up to the lie detector machine, answering the questions made to her by an expert as the computer analyses her responses and registers them, showing the expert some spikes in a chart which, in case they got out into a red zone on the upper level of the graph, would indicate she's lying. Bree answers the first few questions, as Barton and her children watch through a one-way glass, and the spikes never leave the green zone, indicating she's telling the truth. The expert asks her if her name is Bree Van de Kamp, to which she says "Yes." He then asks her if she was married to Rex Van de Kamp, and she says "Yes." He asks if she and her husband temporarily separated the year before, and she says "Yes." He asks if she killed her husband. Bree responds with a firm "No." and there is no change in the spikes. She smiles at her children, who she knows are watching from the other side of the glass, and the expert asks her if she knows a man by the name of George Williams. Bree is surprised and says "Yes." anyway. The expert continues taking down notes, as he asks her if during her separation from her husband she had a relationship with Mr. Williams. Bree asks him what that has to do with anything, and the expert says she should stick to "yes" and "no" responses. Bree tells him she won't respond to something that's none of his business, and Barton pops in and tells her to answer the questions they ask, if she wants them to take that polygraph seriously. Bree isn't too eager, and outside of the room Danielle asks Andrew who George Williams is, and he tells her it's their pharmacist. The expert repeats the previous question to Bree, to which she replies "Yes." and there is no change in the chart. She asks her if she's in love with Mr. Williams. Bree asks him what, and he repeats the question. Bree says "No." The expert writes something down and she looks at the screen, noticing the spikes have delved into the read area. She tells the man she was thinking of something else just then, and that he should ask her the question again. He does just that, and she says "No." again. In the computer, the spikes almost hit the top of the screen. Bree is surprised. Danielle asks Andrew if he saw that, and Andrew says "Yeah. I saw it.", before leaving, followed by Danielle.

Act V[]


Karl argues with his ex-wife in front of Betty.

Betty closes the trunk of her car and takes with her a vase with flowers as she sees Susan approaching her with some partitures. She greets her, and asks if she's ready for her lesson. Susan says she is and that she is gonna make another push for the pedal, as she believes it adds grandeur. Karl drives over, speeding and tonking the horn of his car repeatedly, and he tells Susan as he stops the car that he wants to talk to her. Susan tells him she's busy, and he gets out of the car and tells her he can't believe she kicked Edie out of Julie's performance. Susan tells him she did not kick Edie out, saying it was Julie who made that call, and Karl tells her that's because she played the "mom" card. Susan reminds him that it's a family recital and Edie's not family. Karl tells her one day she could be, and Susan tells him to not even joke like that. As she walks up to Betty's house, he asks her about her plumber/convicted murderer (this part makes Betty raise her head), as he seems to keep poppinh up at "family" events. Susan tells him it wasn't murder, it was manslaughter, and that's totally different because she and Mike aren't even living together, and he cares about Julie. Karl tells her that so was Edie, who was really looking forward to performing with Julie. Susan tells him that he is living in a fool's paradise if he thinks that Edie Britt cares about anybody besides herself, and adds that the only reason she wanted to perform with Julie was to mess with her head. Karl tells her what she just said is both crazy and self-absorbed, and then walks back to his car, all as Betty watches, trying to keep discreet. Karl adds that whether Susan believes it or not, Julie and Edie are great together, and if she doesn't believe him, she can ask their daughter. He drives away and Betty watches him go. She then turns to Susan, and she apologizes for her having to witness what just happened. Betty says that's okay, as she's had her share of family knockdown-dragouts. Susan says she hopes it wasn't as ugly as her and Karl, and Betty tells her she'd be surprised.


Parker and Tom, as seen in the computer screen.

In her office, Lynette is seen adjusting her computer and its videoconference system, and she is heard asking "Parker, honey, can you hear me?". She turns to the screen and we see Tom and Parker's faces. She asks her husband why their son isn't talking, and Tom explains that there are a lot of kids there and thus he's a bit stressed. He tells Parker to say "hi", and he calls out for his mother. She greets with a big smile, and goes on about how exciting his first day of school must be, as he's gonna make so many friends. Before she can go further, Nina barges in, holding a cup of coffee, and says "Lynette. Staff meeting, now!" Lynette pretends to look busy and tells her boss she's gonna be right there, as Nina repeatedly says, with fierce, "Now, now, now, NOW!" She sips her mug of coffee as she goes and then puts it down on Stu's desk, telling him it's cold. Lynette turns to her computer screen and tells Parker she's gonna be right back. She gets up and a worried Parker asks her where she's going. Lynette turns back to the screen, tilting, and repeats "Right back." As she goes, we hear Parker asking her to come back.


Nina gets some spilled hot coffee on her lap.

Lynette sits down at the staff meeting, and Nina tells everyone to turn to page five. Stu comes in and gives Nina some hot coffee, and Lynette gets up, claiming she forgot her prospectus. She asks if anyone needs any extra copies, and quickly heads off. She rushes to her office and sits down in front of the computer, saying she's back and asking how her son's doing. Tom tells her he's upset because he wanted to show her his cubby but she left. Lynette points out that she's there now and he can finally show her his cubby. However, Stu comes in and announces to Lynette that Nina found some extra copies of the prospectus, and thus she wants her back at the staff meeting right now. Lynette is forced to go again, and we hear Parker begging her not to leave. At the staff meeting, Lynette is impatiently tapping her foot on the floor. She gets up as Nina talks about how the big issue at hand is second-quarter billing, and then she interrupts herself to ask Lynette where she's going. Lynette answers that she's going to the ladies' room, and Nina says "No." Lynette points out that nature is calling, to which Nina tells her to hold it for ten minutes as they need to go through with their discussion. Lynette opens her mouth to say something, but Nina gives her a menacing look and she stops and heads for her seat. Nina tells everyone that what she'd like to do is trade out the invoicing structure. She then tells to take a look a look at the graphs on page ten.

Lynette had been struggling to balance her career and her family. She finally saw an opportunity to tip the scales in her favour.
Mary Alice Young

Lynette notices Nina sipping her coffee and making a funny face after realizing it's too hot. She puts it down on the table, with the mug slightly inclined, positioned with part of its base on top of some files. Nina says something about billing on delivery, as opposed to badgering clients with invoices on shorter term campaigns. And Lynette screams "Yes!", excitedly, while banging the table with her hands. The coffee mug moves closer to Nina, and Lynette yells "Bill on delivery, yes!" and bangs the table again, forcing the coffee mug to move closer to the edge of the table, towards Nina, and to actually have part of its base outside the table. Lynette sighs, and a surprised and somewhat angered Nina asks her if she's having a seizure. Lynette says that she's just very excited as it's a very good plan. Nina doesn't understand what is going on, and Lynette dismisses the whole thing, so her boss goes back to talking about the billing issues. She refers to a Berman account, acknowledging that duplicate bills were sent out by Tina and Ron in Accounting. Lynette leans back on her chair and tips the table over with her knee as Nina talks and the coffee mug finally falls to Nina's lap, causing her to shout out in pain as she gets up and the staff looks worried. Nina calls for help and for Stu to come.

Lynette camera

Lynette can finally talk to her son via camera.

Later on, Lynette is talking to Parker via the videoconference system, and he's smiling. Lynette explains to him that they packed him extra cookies so he could share them with all his friends. Tom tells Lynette, off-screen, that he thinks they're good to go. Lynette tells her son that he's gonna be great, and that she loves him. Parker says "I love you too, mommy." Lynette sends him a kiss and turns off the computer. Smugly, she then leans back in her chair and spins herself around. Then she notices, through the great glass office walls, that Nina is sitting out at the reception desk, icing her thighs. There's a whole crowd of people around her, and she looks blisteringly mad. Lynette looks rather guilty.


Bree tells George what went on during her interrogation.

Bree arrives at George's pharmacy, and he greets her with a smile and asks her what he can do for her. Bree says that, for starters, he can help her prove to the police that they didn't conspire to kill her husband. The woman behind her looks surprised. A surprised George says "Okay.", without losing the smile that started the conversation. Later, George and Bree are over at the gift card section as the latter explains to her friend that because of the anomalies in Rex's blood, the police wondered if she'd been poisoning her husband. George points out that that's absurd and that lots of things can cause high potassium levels, such as renal failure and low sodium. Bree tells him that's why she took the polygraph test, to prove to them that she was innocence. George says "Well, obviously you passed.", to which she replies that she sort of did. He is curious, and Bree explains that she thinks the police now has a different theory, which is that if she wasn't poisoning Rex on her own, then maybe George was helping her. George lets out a sustained laugh and asks if she's kidding, to which Bree replies she isn't, which is why she needs him to take the polygraph as well. George asks "What?", and Bree tells him it's the quickest way to prove to the police that they're wrong. George says he doesn't understand why the police would be suspicious of them, considering they're just friends. Bree becomes uncomfortable, and turns around. She starts explaining, before starting to sort through some products in order to look busy, that during the test the police asked her some questions about him and whether they had a relationship, and she said "yes" because it's true, and then they asked me something else, something she hadn't considered. George asks her about it, and she tells him they asked her if she loved him, and she reveals that she said "no". George looks disappointed, until Bree turns back to him and says that apparently, according to the polygraph, that's not entirely true. George tries to downplay the situation, trying to hide his happiness, by saying that he doesn't think that really means much, considering polygraphs aren't entirely reliable. Bree tells him that she thinks perhaps the machine picked up on something she wasn't aware of. George says "Wow." and Bree repeats that that's way she needs him to take the test and answer the detectives' questions, because she won't know exactly how she feels until they put this behind them, but then once they do... George completes the sentence, interrupting her, by saying "We can move on." He smiles at her, though she appears worried.

Act VI[]


Edie and Julie put on a horrible show.

At church, we see three young women dressed in yellow outfits with green and purple stripes bowing at the altar. The emcee says "Can those Cicarelli sisters dance or what? Wow, look out, Broadway!" She goes on about how they will juice and cookies set up in the basement after they're done there, and they want to see everyone there. In the meantime, Julie and Susan are waiting for their turn, and the former waves at her father and Edie who are across from them. Karl has a camera with him. Edie waves and smiles at Julie, as though she's cheering her on, and when Susan looks at her, she turns her face to the front with glaring disdain. The emcee announces that for their next act they will be witnessing the musical stylings of Julie and Susan Mayer. The two of them head for the altar, and whereas Susan sits down at the piano, Julie positions herself in front of the microphone. Susan witnesses Edie gesturing at Julie to take breaths during her singing, and the time comes for her to stop playing. However, she doesn't. All she can do is look at Edie. Julie gets impatient, and then Susan gets up and whispers at her daughter's ear that she'll be right back. She then starts heading down the aisle, but then heads back and announces at the microphone that she's just gonna need a couple of seconds, so everyone should feel free to pray. She then heads towards Edie and explains to her that when she saw her making music with her family the other day, she got a little jealous, went a little crazy and pushed her out. But now, seeing her there, she can see how much she cares about Julie, who always comes first. Therefore, it should be Edie up there playing the song, and not her, and she's sorry for what happened. Karl, with an attitude, says "Thank you, Susan!", and an awkward silence ensues before Susan turns around to head back to the altar. Edie stops her, though, by pointing out how convenient it is that Susan decided that after Edie showed up without her guitar. The emcee looks confused. Susan repeats that she's sorry and that it should be Edie up there. She turns her back on them again, and Edie says "You know, I play piano." Susan turns back around and gives her a confused look. Later, the mondo-enthusiastic emcee tells the audience to welcome Julie Mayer and her aunt Edie. Edie makes a pose whilst sitting at the piano, smiling sexily at the audience. Susan is sitting at the audience and Karl, holding up his camera, tells his ex-wife that she did a good thing. Susan says "Yeah, well, I try.", and the song is already playing. However, it turns out that Edie can't play the piano all that well, and therefore, despite Julie's struggles to keep the song to keep the song going, it all sounds terrible. After a while, Julie glares at Edie, who sighs and says "Gimme a break, this thing has like ninety flats in it." In the audience, Karl lowers his camera and Susan whispers in his ear "Poor Julie.", to which Karl replies "Stop it, you're loving this." Susan says "No. Not at all.", with apparent sadness over her daughter's embarrassment. However, she then leans over and lifts Karl's camera back into position, with a smile on her face, as Julie and Edie clumsily finish the song.


Gabrielle tearfully apologizes to Carlos, at last.

At the slammer, Carlos comes out into the visiting room, and Gabrielle is there waiting for him and looking sad. He sits down in front of her and is still looking upset. He tells her that someone said she needed to see him and he asks her what's going on. She tells him that she's been thinking about everything that happened with John and... she needs to take her moment with, as it is clearly hard for the two of them. She continues, saying that she was really selfish and stupid, and she's sorry. She's very emotional at this moment, and Carlos is very surprised. He can tell she's being honest and she feels horrible, and Gabby insists that she really is sorry. After a while, she tells him that's really all she had to say. He says "You know what? That is the best anniversary gift that you've ever given me." Gabby asks "Really?" and he says "Yeah." Then, Gabby, still teary-eyed, tells him, with a smile, that the one he gave her is really nice too. Carlos looks confused.

Everyone enjoys a game of make-believe now and then. Of course, the ways in which we play can vary greatly. Sometimes we tell ourselves work won't interfere with our family life. Sometimes we imagine certain relationships to be more meaningful than they really are. Occasionally, we put on a show, as if to convince ourselves our secrets aren't really all that terrible.

As Mary Alice speaks, we see shots of the three young girls from the beginning of the episode playing out their tea parties; of Lynette looking at a picture of her and Parker before Nina comes in and says "Lynette. Staff meeting, now.", causing Lynette to prepare to attend such meeting; of Gabrielle jogging by John, who is mowing the lawn in some frontyard, and who waves at her but she ignores it, leaving him a bit frustrated; and of Betty and Matthew prepping up the food tray for her prisoner before Matthew goes and gets the gun from their drawer.

Yes, the game of make-believe is a simple one.

Bree and Detective Barton look on through the one-way mirror as George sits in the questioning room, hooked up to the lie detector. The expert asks him if he knew Rex Van de Kamp, to which he says "Yes."; he then asks if Mrs. Van de Kamp asked him to poison her husband, to which he replies "No.", and Bree smiles. He then asks if George poisoned Mr. Van de Kamp.

You start by lying to yourself.

George, with a near-mechanical smile, says "No." There is no change in the computer's charts, as the spikes never leave the green area. George smiles at the mirror, and Bree smiles back at him.

And if you can get others to believe those lies... you win.
Mary Alice Young


The episode was written by executive producer Tom Spezialy, marking his 5th writing credit with the series, and consulting producerEllie Herman, her 1st and only writing credit, and was directed by Arlene Sanford, marking her 6th directing credit.


"You'll Never Get Away From Me" was watched by 26.060 million viewers, ranking as the second most watched TV show that week. It received positive reviews from television critics.


Bloopers and continuity errors[]

  • A cemetery wouldn't leave an empty grave open as shown with Rex's grave. It would be roped off and most likely covered with fake grass or something else to protect both the physical aspect of the graveyard and the sensibilities of visitors.
  • The phone that Tom uses when with Parker is a Nokia 3220, which does not support videocalling, as shown in the episode. The phone is not a 3G model, which hadn't yet been released nationwide in the United States at the time the episode aired.
  • When Mike Delfino visits Felicia Tilman, there is a moment in which the camera focuses on him and Felicia's lips are seen moving, but no sound comes from her, only the background music is heard.
  • A young girl by the name of Chloe Pendergast hosts a make-believe tea party for her friends on the front yard of Ida Greenberg's house, although no relationship had been previously nor posteriorly established between the two characters.